Gilmore Girls
They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 6 USERS: A+
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Luke hands Lorelai her pancakes as Taylor storms out of the restaurant. Lorelai gets all excited, hands floating around her face as she wonders who Taylor's dancing with. It fades to black without a witty comeback from Luke for some reason, so I'll add one: "Same as every year. The devil."

It's our first Friday dinner in a while. Lorelai is complementing Emily on the chicken, as if Emily had anything to do with its preparation. Emily thanks her. Lorelai goes on: "It's like, super chicken. I bet it could fly. Have you tried tossing it out the window?" Sometimes I wonder if Emily thinks Lorelai does drugs. Sometimes it appears that Lorelai takes a lot of drugs. Emily asks what's going on, since nobody ever likes chicken that much. See? Lorelai says she's in a good mood. Emily asks why. Lorelai says this is her ninth-grade Homecoming dance all over again. She tells Rory how she was happy about getting asked to the dance so she was in a good mood. Emily got so annoyed that she sent Lorelai to her room. "She was sitting at the table giving all the peas voices," Emily explains. Lorelai says with a little encouragement she would have been the Señor Wences of the vegetable set. Lorelai announces that she found a dance partner. Emily's somehow never heard of this four-year/fifty-year marathon that Lorelai obsesses over every year, so they explain it to her. Emily then gives a small PSA about how important it is to participate in charitable events. Lorelai's new partner is brand-new to Stars Hollow, of course. His name is Stanley Appleman, and he used to be a dancer for Riverdance. He works at the hardware store (Stanley, get it?). Why isn't anyone making fun of the Riverdancer? Lorelai makes her new potato talk about how jazzed it is.

Lorelai's cell phone goes off, so Stanley can immediately cancel. Emily begins to nag Lorelai, saying she's told Lorelai a hundred times not to leave that thing on at dinner. Lorelai makes up a lie about Michel (Michel! I miss you! Why were you not dancing? You would have been the perfect partner!) being all alone at the Inn on a Friday night with roofers, which makes no sense. Emily asks Rory if Lorelai is lying, and Rory says she'll leave this one for the potato to answer. So, of course, Stanley has told Lorelai that he can't be her partner because his wife saw a picture of her. Lorelai, in the fastest one-sided conversation we've ever heard, tells Stanley that she doesn't want to sleep with him. She says it a couple more times. Stanley gets insulted and hangs up.

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Gilmore Girls

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