How is Paris neither the valedictorian nor the salutatorian?
We open with the mark of Daniel Palladino: the Troubadour, singing a song about a Peace Train. Lorelai and Rory, loaded down with their European backpacks, shove the Troubadour out of their way, calling him "Peace Boy."
Inside Luke's, we see that other guy who is sometimes Cesar, when Cesar doesn't have any lines. Lorelai halts the "wuss patrol." The girls throw down their backpacks and complain about how heavy they are. Lorelai doesn't even want to backpack across Europe now that she knows how heavy backpacking across Europe is. Lorelai was picturing spry, accommodating, mustachioed men who would carry their backpacks for them. She's glad her new walking shoes are now broken in. Luke chastises Lorelai for trying to take her shoes off in his diner. Lorelai says she doesn't see a "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" sign. Luke declares himself the sign, and asks them if they can move their backpacks. Rory whines that they can't. Luke moves them himself, so Lorelai asks him to grow a mustache and follow them around Europe. Luke says he already has travel plans of his own: he's going on a cruise up to Alaska with Nicole. Doesn't it take a very long time to drive across Canada over to the coast? I'm just guessing. ["It would probably take them about five days, if they were stopping every night and not driving straight through. Glark and his dad once made it from Los Angeles to southern Ontario in eighteen hours, without stopping." -- Wing Chun] Luke might want to close the diner for more than two weeks. Also: since when does Luke close his diner for anything? Lorelai teases Luke for getting so intimate with Nicole, and asks if he plans to propose. Luke does not plan on proposing, and didn't realize a cruise was such an intimate affair. Lorelai thinks that after spending a few hours on The Love Boat, and one too many mojitos from Issac, he might be singing a different tune. Luke tells them to drop it. Lorelai begins singing the different tune again -- the one that starts, "The Love Boat!" She tells Luke that if he had a radio in his diner, she wouldn't have to sing songs.
Luke changes the subject by asking Rory if her graduation is still Wednesday at 4. Rory tells him again that he doesn't have to come. Luke says he wants to, since feels like he went through Chilton with her over the past three years. Rory says she wants him there, and is glad he's coming. Lorelai and Rory decide they aren't hungry anymore, so they go home to rest. Luke asks them to not leave their backpacks at the restaurant. Rory tells him to store them for him, avoiding the great joke: "Put them where Jess used to be." Lorelai promises that they'll hire a flatbed truck to haul them away. I'll bet they could hire Kirk to wear a mustache and follow them around Europe. Lorelai and Rory leave, bickering over which one should have to carry the other. Luke raises his hands, wishing there was a joke or a moment to end this scene on, but...no. Opening credits.