As Lorelai and Taylor bicker, Rory gives herself whiplash looking around for Jess. She finds him, and is appalled. Taylor wheels off. Lorelai sees Rory staring and follows her gaze. It's Jess, of course, making out with a tiny bleached blonde by a tree. He's jamming his hand into the back pocket of her jeans. They are all tongues. We can see her bra. The front of her bra over her tank top. Lorelai jokes that we know what Jess's "What I Did On Summer Vacation" essay will be about: "Guess you dodged a bullet there, huh?" "What do you mean?" Rory says quickly. Lorelai says it just seems lucky that Rory didn't throw everything away for Jess, in light of what they see now. "See what?" Rory snaps. Lorelai: "You're upset." Rory: "I'm not upset." Lorelai: "Yes, you are. I know when you're upset because you look like my mother." Rory thanks Lorelai, and says that since Lorelai doesn't get along with her mother, she knows it's not a compliment to be told she looks like her. Lorelai asks what's wrong. Rory makes a face and says, "Oh, God! It's that."
Okay, prepare yourself for the endless high-pitched conversation that has somehow summed up one year of forum activity. I'd better just transcribe the whole thing so that all of you can do the "That's what I said!" and "Word!" and "Shout-out!" stuff.
Lorelai: Rory, come on. I know you had this crush...
Rory: It wasn't a crush.
Lorelai: Well, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked to him since...
Rory: Sookie's wedding.
Lorelai: You talked to him at Sookie's wedding?
Lorelai: He wasn't at Sookie's wedding.
Rory: Yes he was. He had just come back and he came to see me.
Lorelai: Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding and...?
Rory: And nothing. He told me that he was back in town. That he moved back and...
Lorelai: Oh, Rory. Come on.
Rory: And we kissed, okay?
Lorelai: You kissed?
Lorelai: You kissed like...kissed?
Lorelai asks who kissed whom, and says it matters which one kissed the other one. Rory says that she kissed Jess and he kissed back but it doesn't matter now because he's kissing someone else right now. I imagine that Jess can totally see Rory from where he's standing. Rory says she feels so stupid.
Rory: And that girl? Isn't even his type.
Lorelai: Rory. What are you doing?
Rory: What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this; I learned from you.
Lorelai: Yeah, but you went to Sookie's wedding with, with Dean.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: And then you ran off to have some thing with Jess?
Rory: It wasn't a thing, it was a kiss.
Lorelai: A kiss is a thing.
Rory: Well, it wasn't planned; it just happened.
Lorelai: I can't believe it. All this time I'm thinking, "She's with Dean."
Rory: I am with Dean.
Lorelai: No, Rory. Kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him. I bet he'd back me up on that.
Rory: It was nothing.
Lorelai: Then why are you so freaked out?
Rory: I'm not freaked out.