...Lorelai wakes from a nightmare! Bet you never saw that one coming. ["I did, but I was still bitter. If they're going to break up CuteDean and Rory and stick her with stupid Jess -- as they obviously are -- the least they can do for me is hook up Luke and Lorelai." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai wears a lot of clothes to sleep. She tangles in the sheets and throws herself out of the bed to call Rory on the phone.
Rory is trying to be in a dorm in Washington, but wakes up in the middle of the night for her codependent relationship. "You have to come home," Lorelai says, complaining that the house is quiet without Rory there and they've cancelled Politically Correct with Bill Maher, ignoring the fact that it says right in the title that he's supposed to say things that aren't P.C. Rory sits up (also in lots of clothes) and offers to analyze Lorelai's bad dream. Lorelai recaps Paragraph One of my recap, substituting the word "fabulous" for "tiny" when describing her nightgown. Rory asks a couple of times whether Luke was naked in the dream until Lorelai tells Rory that she's been in Washington way too long. Rory says that Lorelai would be "so fat" with twins. Her analysis: "The dream was telling you that you are secretly in love with Luke and you want to marry him and have his twins." Lorelai gives an "uh, no." Rory says that an analysis can't be rejected, as though Lorelai were shopping for bathing suits. "Give me another analysis!" Lorelai Veruca Salts. She threatens to re-analyze Rory's dream about Taylor Hula-Hooping. Rory insists that Taylor was supposed to be CuteDean in the dream, since he had a full head of floppy hair. Rory tries again: "Maybe you're still upset about what happened with Dad and jealous of Sherri because she's having his baby and not you." And...Season Two has been officially recapped. Lorelai pouts and says she misses Rory, who says she misses Lorelai as well. Paris -- Rory's roommate, who has been hidden behind Rory all this time -- starts tossing in her sleep, shouting, "Woodward! Bernstein!" Rory tells Lorelai that Paris has long in-depth arguments in her sleep, so she's glad this is Rory's last day here. Lorelai asks what's on the agenda for today. Rory says she has a breakfast mixer with members of the Senate and Congress. Lorelai: "Cool. See if you can steal me something off of Tom Daschle's fruit plate." I'm pretty sure that just about everything that goes near or inside of Daschle these days goes through very tight security. Don't fuck with Daschle's mangos. The girls hang up with a mutual "See you Friday." Strummy-strummy-la-la music starts up (Did you miss it? Did you miss the song?) as Rory makes her way over to her desk. Whoa, she's gotten pretty skinny over the summer. She opens a notebook to find several love letters from CuteDean. Finally! Finally we have a way to let CuteDean know that he's getting screwed by Rory. We can mail him at his grandparents' house! Ready?