Gilmore Girls
Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days

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Look Who's Talking...Still

Hey, everybody. How was your summer? No time for chit-chat -- the girls are back!

A Hello Kitty alarm clock goes off at 7 AM. Beside it rests a book and a photograph of Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai silences the alarm clock by giving Hello Kitty a good beating. She starts go fall back asleep, but another alarm clock goes off. This confuses Lorelai, so she slowly rolls over to smack another alarm clock, this one on her other bedside table. Another alarm goes off. Another. Another. More noise. More. A cuckoo clock. Lorelai props herself up on her elbows and pouts. "You are hilarious!" she shouts. Pull back to see that the entire room is filled with alarm clocks.

We start Season Three with a shot of Lauren Graham's legs all the way up to her Lorelai. I'm not complaining, but man. Way to keep the MILF fetishists right off the bat. Lorelai walks down the stairs in her tiny nightgown, explaining that when she insisted on getting woken up at 7 AM, she meant she'd rather just have the option of getting up at 7 AM, rather than this no-going-back- very-loud option that must have cost a pretty penny at IKEA. When Lorelai finally finishes her very long sentence, she's in the kitchen...with Luke. Lorelai's in her skivvies and Luke's making some kind of breakfast at the stove. Lorelai pulls the coffee container out of the freezer, sniffs it and declares it to be decaf. Luke, dropping bacon onto a plate, insists that it isn't. Lorelai say she knows by the smell. Luke says he's too busy a man to sneak around switching her coffee. Lorelai finds a Ziploc baggie of her real coffee underneath the sink. She celebrates her find. Luke challenges her to go one day without coffee. He bribes her by saying he'll put a toy in her cereal. "Dirty!" Lorelai scoffs. He hands her the giant plate of food and says he's gotten her up and fed her and now he's off. Lorelai: "Hey, we need Q-Tips." Luke: "I'll alert the media." I've heard that joke somewhere before. Lorelai says it's better with the accent. Luke says the reference is enough. Right. See? I knew it was from somewhere. Where? Hold on...Accent...Summer vacation has made my brain rusty. In a weak moment I had to ask someone else. It's from Arthur, dammit, when Arthur announces he's going to take a bath. Right? Yes? That sounds good enough. There are fifty-seven more minutes to go, so I can't dwell on this. So, I'm satisfied with that answer. Luke tells Lorelai he'll be home early, asks what else she needs besides Q-Tips ("Cotton balls, world peace, Connie Chung's original face back") and plants one on Lorelai. They kiss long enough for us to know this is a dream sequence. Ah, the staple of season openers. Luke leans down and kisses Lorelai's stomach. "Goodbye, Sid and Nancy," he says. "Leopold and Loeb," Lorelai corrects him. She says she's changed her mind, and asks Luke not to tell Rory yet. "Decaf," Luke says again. "Never," Lorelai whines. Luke: "They'll both have two heads." Lorelai: "More to love!" They kiss again, this time with Lorelai on tiptoe, and Luke heads out the back door instead. As Lorelai smiles into the sunlight, holding her stomach with both hands...

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Gilmore Girls

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