Emily's house. Lorelai apologizes for being late. Emily says that's what the "warm" setting on the oven is for. Lorelai asks Emily if they can talk. Emily says that they can talk outside, with drinks. Lorelai says she feels more comfortable talking by the front door, near the exit. Emily calls nonsense on all of that. Richard enters, saying that he might have to take another phone call soon. Emily says that Lorelai has something to tell them. Richard asks whether Lorelai purchased an accurate timepiece. Because nobody says "timepiece" anymore when they mean a watch, the first time I heard him say it I thought he said "an Acura Timepiece," like it's a new kind of car. Because I know nothing about watches or cars, you see. I'm just a simple girl.
Richard, Emily, and Lorelai move outside and sit by the fountain. Richard asks Lorelai what she'd like to drink. He says they have everything, so Lorelai asks for a Jägermeister and a Jell-O shot. "White wine," she adds. They sit, the new help brings over a plate of something, and Lorelai takes a deep breath. Emily interrupts to give Lorelai a souvenir. It's a bag of scone mix. Lorelai laughs. "Scone mix! Wow." Emily says that a new place opened up down the street from their house in Martha's Vineyard, and that they make the perfect scones. Lorelai: "Well, thanks, Mom. I will put this right on the counter and stare at it for many years to come." Emily, disappointed, asks why Lorelai wouldn't make the scones. Lorelai says she's not much of a baker. Emily points out that the instructions are right on the bag, and that they are very good scones. Lorelai says she'll get Sookie to bake the scones. Emily says she can't understand why Lorelai wouldn't want to make the scones herself. Richard says that Rory would love the scones. Scones, scones, scones, scones, scones, scones, scones. "Thanks, Mom. It was really nice of you to think of me and to buy a present when I didn't get you anything," Lorelai says. I'm just kidding. Of course she didn't. Never. Never would Lorelai think of what someone's actual intentions were, or see the good in anything.
Lorelai tries to make her announcement again, but once she says the word "Christopher," Emily interrupts to tell her that they bought him a captain's hat. Before "Captain's Hat" becomes the new "scone," Lorelai stammers in disappointed tones that she and Christopher are...um...well...until Emily understands. She explains to Richard that Lorelai and Christopher aren't together anymore. Richard asks why, and Emily says that a vague explanation is sure to follow. "It just didn't work out, that's all," Lorelai says. "And there it is," Emily says with satisfaction. She tells Lorelai that this is ridiculous, and that Christopher and Lorelai aren't in high school anymore. So maybe she shouldn't harp on Lorelai's relationships, since it isn't any of her business whom Lorelai dates. Richard says he doesn't want to talk about it, but Emily says she does: "You're running around like you have no responsibility in life. Like you can flit from thing to thing --" ("That's not true," Lorelai interrupts) "-- from man to man...." Lorelai says she doesn't flit from man to man. Okay, liar. Emily says that this all affects Rory, too. Richard tells Emily not to waste her breath. Lorelai says she knows that this affects Rory, but that Lorelai's not even doing anything to affect Rory now. Richard tells Lorelai not to raise her voice. Emily demands a reason why it didn't work out, so Lorelai tells them that Sherri is pregnant with Christopher's child, so he's moved back to Boston to be with her. He'll probably marry her (this is Lorelai's assumption, mind you) and be with her and not herself and Rory and be the daddy he was supposed to be in another family that isn't theirs. Richard says that Christopher and Sherri will certainly get married because he knows Christopher, and knows that Christopher always tries to do the right thing. I seem to remember an episode where Richard blamed Christopher for all of their woes. ["Yeah, but then he turned it around on Lorelai once Christopher's shitty parents were gone, accusing Lorelai of rebelling against the marriage plans that Christopher was willing to go along with." -- Wing Chun]