Gilmore Girls
Tippecanoe And Taylor, Too

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
Vote Or Die

Taylor is ringing up purchases. He gives a balloon to the little girl behind the counter, reminding her father that the election is on Tuesday. He greets the next shopper as Maggie, asking how her family is doing. "They're a pain in my rear," Maggie moans. Jackson stands in line behind Maggie with his diapers. Maggie and Taylor get into a discussion on tomatoes, and how they aren't fresh this time of year. Jackson offers to let Taylor try some of his hydroponic tomatoes. Taylor mentions a problem with Jackson's greenhouse, and then tries to change the subject, as he's working. He and Maggie praise the cucumbers as Jackson gets more and more agitated, wondering what Taylor means by a "problem" with his greenhouse. Taylor tries to get a price-check on cucumbers from the off-camera "Barry," who won't respond a "10-4" when Taylor requests one. Taylor tells Jackson that they'll discuss it at the town meeting, and suggests Jackson find a sitter that night so he doesn't miss it. Taylor asks if Barry was on a smoke break and threatens to smell his breath. Barry gives a sarcastic "10-4."

Rory's in her dorm room; Lane's at her house. I miss MamaLane. Where did she go? Is she on another show? Just tell me so I can watch her over there. Lane's complaining about shopping with mfTL when he wants to buy beer for other girls. She prefers their normal bickering, full of fun times they'll look back on with laughter later. Lane confesses she likes mfTL's "grunt-grunt-caveman behavior," something I wouldn't imagine Lane would like in the slightest. Rory is trying to work in front of her blueberry clamshell iBook. I call bullshit on that machine (as I said in the recaplet, but come on). Props department, hook a sister up with a G4, for Pete's sake. Lane is worried about the ramifications of intra-band dating. Success stories include The Cramps, Yo La Tengo, Kim and Thurston, Sonny and Cher: The Early Years. And there are bands who survived break-ups -- X, Supertramp, the White Stripes, No Doubt (Rory: "Wish they hadn't."). But then there's Sonny and Cher: The Later Years, Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. Lane knows of two country backup singers who shot their exes in the groin. Paris storms into Rory's room, frantic that her headphone batteries are dead. Rory says she and CuteDean are just watching a movie tonight. She invites Paris to join them. Paris declines, knowing there's no way two nineteen-year-olds aren't "getting carnal." Have you met Rory, Paris? The only time she's carnal is when she's eating a cheeseburger. Rory, who shouldn't be giving advice to anyone trying to make a relationship work, suggests Lane come clean to mfTL about her crush, avoiding all the intra-band talk. Rory gets another call, putting Lane on hold once again. It's Dean, who doesn't have a ride into New Haven, because his wife needed the car. Rory doesn't remember she has her own car until CuteDean reminds her, and she reluctantly agrees to drive into Stars Hollow. CuteDean is no match for Lorelai. Lane tells Rory she's going to play two Rilo Kiley songs, and wants to know if Rory can tell the difference between before and after Jenny and Blake broke up. Was their first album when they were still together? Because, I love Rilo Kiley, but nothing is better than "Take-Offs and Landings." Sorry, Lane.

Taylor is giving an etymology lesson concerning why ticks are bad. Everybody's grossed out and wishes he'd stop telling them the particulars of how they suck blood and how much blood they suck. "Don't hate the tick messenger; hate the tick!" Regardless, the town overwhelmingly vetoes Taylor's proposal to erect signs warning townspeople to tuck their pants in their socks to avoid tick bites. Taylor calls them an irresponsible, devil-may-care majority. He calls to order the matter of Stars Hollow versus Jackson. Taylor explains that Jackson's greenhouse is six inches too close to his house, and that he'll have to move it. Jackson is apoplectic, because he'd have to tear down the greenhouse and build it again, as he didn't build the structure on wheels. Taylor tuts that it would have been much easier if Jackson had built the thing on wheels. Taylor says he's there to enforce the rules, and all he can do is hold Jackson in violation, because that's what he's supposed to do as Town Selectman. Despite the pleadings of Lorelai and Sookie, Taylor is firm in holding the structure up to town code. Lorelai tells him to oil his knees and go see the Wizard about a heart. Taylor knows Lorelai is only upset because of her parking situation. Lorelai says it's stupid to reject the form because she left out her middle name. "How many other Lorelai Gilmores do you know?" Taylor says he does know Lorelai's daughter. Busted, Lorelai says that's it, unless Taylor knew her grandmother as well. Taylor tries to adjourn the meeting, telling Jackson that he is only the humble vessel for the municipal code. Jackson decides it's time for a different vessel. "I'm running." He asks Taylor what office he holds. Taylor: "Town Selectman." Jackson: "I'm running for Town Selectman." Miss Patty says nobody ever runs against Taylor. Sookie asks Jackson if he's sure about this. Taylor accepts the challenge and looks forward to a lively race. "Competition is the whetstone that sharpens the blade of democracy." He adjourns the meeting. Lorelai and Jackson start pumping hands to gain some votes. Lorelai and Sookie discuss campaign strategy. The first draft of their slogan: "Taylor sucks like a tick."

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