I haven't really watched this show before, but I've done some catch-up recap-reading, and I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, so I figure I'll catch on pretty quick. But I would like to apologize ahead of time for the mistakes I'm bound to make. Pamie has bigger feet than me, so it's impossible for me to fill her shoes. I'm going to have to buy those foot-extenders or stuff tissues in the toes or maybe I should just stop with the metaphor and proceed with the recap.
We open outside a large, plantation-style house with a long line of people stretching out the door and onto the sidewalk. At first I thought maybe everyone was in line for tryouts for Stars Hollow Idol, but it turns out they're all there to visit Old Man Twickham, Stars Hollow's oldest living resident, who is in imminent danger of having the "living" part of the title dropped. I do hope Old Man T is aware and accepting of his impending death, because otherwise having the entire town walk through his bedroom to wish him a good afterlife might be a little unsettling. Anyway, Lorelai is quickly scolded by Taylor for her flippant attitude about the occasion as she chatters on to Sookie about the hazards of buying trail mix these days, but she exposits that this whole lining up to say goodbye to dying Old Man T thing happens all the time, and that its frequency tends to make the occasion less solemn. Taylor says that Lorelai might think that, but that everyone else im line has managed to be respectful. Kirk walks by, selling souvenirs. They include popcorn and a large foam hand. I want one. The foam hand, not the popcorn. Popcorn always gets stuck in my teeth.
Andrew exits the house, and Lorelai asks him how Old Man T is doing. Andrew says he's tired and distracted: "the whole time I was there, he was TiVoing through a fresh Summerland," Andrew says. Ha! While I love the effort to include a dig at the WB's ridiculous "fresh" campaign, I find it hard to believe that the oldest resident of the town knows how to work a TiVo when my grandparents are still trying to navigate their way through wonderful world of VCRs. Unless, of course, Stars Hollow is actually The City and Old Man T is on his way to the carousel.
These opening credits sure are orange.
Yale! Rory picks up the phone to hear from Lorelai that Old Man T actually died. He is now "the man formerly known Twickham." "Formerly"? Do you get new names in the afterlife? I hope so -- I want PANTHER for my new name. I think it's dangerous, but in a sexy and alluring way. And sleek. I need to be sleeker. Anyway, Rory can't believe it -- Old Man T has been dying for her whole life. Now that he's actually gone and died, it's like part of her childhood has as well. That's sort of how I felt when the Pope died. Lorelai says that she and Sookie ended up getting to see Twickham right before he died with thoughts of Lori Loughlin dancing through his old head. But was it the Full House Lori Loughlin or the Summerland Lori Loughlin? And shouldn't Old Man T, like the rest of the country, be going crazy for that adorable Jesse McCartney? Rory says that Kirk's souvenirs are "tacky," and Lorelai agrees as she glances at her "Goodbye Twickham 2005" balloon. She should have bought a foam hand. Balloons deflate; foam hands last forever, or at least until you accidentally rip the protruding finger off.