Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1371 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Box Of Letters

Later, as Lorelai puts on her coat to go out to Sookie's, Christopher unpacks the huge amount of stuff required to put up the flatscreen. Kissing him goodbye, Lorelai pulls away and smiles. "You smell good," she says. "Familiar..." I immediately get excited, thinking it's the coffee she smells on him, but no. Incredulous, she asks if he's been using her conditioner, teasing him about his fancy hair products. "Listen," she says, "I love that you're using my conditioner. And I love that you're putting up this JumboTron thingy all by yourself, and I can't wait to come home and watch flatsports with you." I may not like Christopher very much, but I love it when Lorelai teases him. "Hey," she adds, "if you feel like shaving, I've got a brand new Ladies Schick in the drawer."

At the courthouse, Luke sits alone on a bench outside a courtroom. A bailiff comes out and asks, "Danes v. Nardini?" Luke nervously says yeah, but that Nardini's not there yet. When the bailiff disappears, Luke's attorney arrives, and advises him not to say anything during the hearing. Moments later, Anna shows up, and even though the bailiff just walked out and asked for them, Luke tells her that the court is not ready for them yet. They have an awkward conversation about parking or some shit, I don't know. I'm so ready for all things April to be over and done with. Soon enough, it gets bitter, and Luke and Anna start snarking about the custody. Anna comes off as the Wicked Bitch of the East, saying that Luke need only look at himself to see how little chance he has to win any parental rights: "A hermit, living above a diner in some old converted warehouse. I mean, it doesn't exactly paint a picture of 'capable father.'" Hello? Do you not live in, like, a t-shirt store, or something? ["Hey. People who live in t-shirt stores are the BEST kind of people!" -- Wing Chun] Luke gets defensive, saying that he's been nothing but a good father to April which, while I love him, I must also call bullshit on, considering the five minutes he's known her. In any case, Anna ignores this, and points out that his history with women will no doubt hurt his case as well. HIS history? A bit rich, coming from the woman whose daughter had to steal hair from THREE men to figure out who fathered her. The bailiff comes out to call them in just before any punches get thrown.

Rory returns to her apartment post-holiday to find Paris surrounded by charts and spreadsheets. Paris dispenses with the usual reunion pleasantries and gets right to business: "This is the game plan for what I call Operation Finish Line." She explains that she and Rory only have five months left before they must leave Yale and face the bitter, cold shoulder of real life. "You're the green marker," she says, pointing to one of the charts. "Green was a random choice, not a subtle comment about how inexperienced you are with real-life matters. Then again, maybe it was." I love Paris. Rory is somewhat surprised to see that Paris has her down to apply for an Oceanography fellowship. Pointing out that she knows nothing about Oceanography is pointless, of course. "It's a defensive move," says Paris, "like Monopoly." She carries the metaphor, explaining that when landing on St. James Place, one must purchase it, even if one does not want it, just so that no one else can buy it: "Am I getting through to you?" Rory: "Well, you're making me want to play Monopoly." Paris is undeterred by the size of her list. She says that, since there are two of them, they should easily be able to cover everything and report back on progress every Friday at 5 PM. "There's something to look forward to at the end of the week," says Rory. Getting harangued by Paris, followed by several hours of exposure to the emotional hostage crisis of Friday Night Dinner? That should get Rory ready for real life quite nicely.

Gilmore Girls

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP