Gilmore Girls
To Whom It May Concern

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Box Of Letters

Awwww, snap, back at Jackson and Sookie's, the unhappy couple returns to find Lorelai in the middle of a Davey-created mess. They don't even notice, however, because they are having a classic Married People fight. Sookie's pissed because Jackson wouldn't "let" her have a hot toddy or do any skiing. And oh, I feel her. Let me tell you how to make me stab my husband. You know, if you were looking to get me to do that. Suggest that he boss me around. You will not even get to blink before I make ratatouille of his insides. And, listen, I am married to a very nice man. Very nice. He is a veritable Jackson, it's true. But sometimes, just sometimes, the dude like, has opinions about...I don't know, things, and it makes me want to whang him with the cast iron. On these occasions, I behave just like Sookie is acting now, as she snarks at Jackson, "Apparently you make all the rules, your highness. Can I go check on my children? Can I do that?" When she rages off, a suspicious Lorelai finally puts the screws (not like that!) to Jackson: "What's going on between you two? Why wouldn't you let her drink, or ski?" Jackson tries to play it cool, saying that he just didn't want her to get hurt. Lorelai says that Jackson's acting weird, and so is Sookie:. "She's all over the place and moody. The last time she was like this, she was pregnant." Jackson silently freaks, and Lorelai is on to him: "I thought you had a vasectomy!" Jackson: "Oh, so she says 'go get a vasectomy' and I'm supposed to just go get a vasectomy?!" Um, yes? Lorelai says that if he didn't want to do it, he should have just said so. "I didn't see the point," he replies. "Now...I see the point." Hee. He says he thought Sookie was going to stay on the Pill, for her skin. "Yeah," says Lorelai, "but she went off it last month!" Jackson says that Sookie should have told him that, and Lorelai rightly points out the irony: "Not when she thinks [her] husband had a vasectomy...Don't you think Sookie should be let in on the good news?!" Jackson heaves the sigh of the damned and walks back to meet his fate. Lorelai doesn't even have her coat on before she hears the screams. "NO!" says Sookie, charging out to the front door. She throws her jacket on as Jackson tries to make excuses for himself. "Just be really quiet right now! Don't speak! Don't breathe!" she yells at him. "I'm going to go for a walk, and while I'm gone, you're going to have that taken care of!" Aw, Sookie. A retrovasectomy won't work! If it did, the Department of Health and Human Services would have a bounty on K-Fed's penis, and citizens all over the nation would be running after him with scissors. Sookie screams for Lorelai to follow her, and charges out the door. (Melissa McCarthy really is pregnant, if you haven't heard, which is why they're forced to insert this third pregnancy for her character. I like the way they've worked it in.)

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Gilmore Girls

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