Gilmore Girls
Twenty-One Is The Loneliest Number

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Madeleine Albright. In Bed.

At the Dragonfly, Sookie has laid out dozens of linked sausages on the kitchen prep table. She asks Lorelai which one she needs for her Halloween skit. "I'm not sure," Lorelai says. "Luke's a big guy, so he needs a big-guy sausage." Sookie: "Don't we all?" Lorelai: "Don't make my man's sausage dirty." Too late. I am already thinking about Luke's sausage. Let's all take a minute. There. Yes, yes, I'm sure it's tasty. Firm, yes. I can hear you, internet, and I think you all need to take a shower. I will join you. NOT LIKE THAT. Man. Anyway, Sookie, says Lorelai should try kielbasa, since it is a large, manly sausage. Lorelai says maybe, though technically, Luke hasn't agreed to participate in this sausagefest yet . "Small detail," Sookie says. Lorelai agrees: "Minuscule roadblock." As Sookie is making further sausage suggestions, an employee delivers the mail. Lorelai is immediately distracted by one envelope. Sookie asks her what's the matter, and doesn't believe Lorelai when she says it's nothing. Lorelai sighs: "It's an invitation to Rory Gilmore's twenty-first birthday party." Sookie comments on the prettiness of the invitation, and asks if Lorelai's going to go. Lorelai says no, and that the invitation is really from her parents, who are bound and determined to get her involved in some new plan to manipulate Rory. "But," Sookie says, "you had a plan." Lorelai says she knows. Sookie can't believe that Rory is turning twenty-one: "It seems like just yesterday she was crying because you told her Charlotte Brontë couldn't come to her sleepover. Because she's dead." Aw. Lorelai gets kind of emotional, and has to stop all the Rory talk for a while. Sookie reminds her that they can pick up their sausage talk later.

Rory arrives for dinner at the big house, all dressed up. She's excited to be dining there, saying it will be the first time in weeks she hasn't had to eat something that's been supersized. Emily tells her the fabulous news that they'll be having her favorites: pot roast, mashed potatoes, Parkerhouse rolls, and ice cream sundaes for dessert. "Am I dying?" Rory asks. No, Rory, but there is a minister available if you decide to do so. She walks into dinner and is introduced to the Rev. Boatright. They all have a lame conversation about how great pot roast is. Emily and Richard lamely excuse themselves to leave Rory and the Rev. alone. The guy is so nerdy, he might be an actual reverend, except I recognize him from something else; I can't think what. He tells Rory that her grandparents are very proud of her. "Well, then," she says, "it's a mutual admiration society." The Rev. goes on to say it must be wonderful to be young and about to turn twenty-one and have crazy feelings rushing through your system. As Rory grows more and more uncomfortable, the Rev. goes on: "Being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example is...a precious gift. Once you give it, it's gone. You can't re-gift it." He tells her that if she gives it away too soon, then when the right man does come along, she'll have no gift to give: "You'll have to buy him a sweater." (Which is hilarious, in a way, and I guess explains why I gave my husband a DVD player on our wedding day.) Rory finally clues in and has to do the same for the Rev. She thanks him for taking the time to come and talk to her about all of that, but concludes, "I'm afraid the 'ultimate gift' ship has sailed." The Rev. is surprised and saddened. "Yeah," Rory goes on. "It's probably in Fiji by now." While the Rev. soaks in this news, she suggests that he see The 40-Year-Old Virgin: "You might like it."

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