Gilmore Girls
Unto The Breach

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B | 4 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Rory Gilmore, Will You Marry Me?

Doyle says he doesn't understand why she's going to be hauling all these textbooks around India anyway -- it should be a vacation. But no, Paris insists, since she's gotten into Harvard Medical School, there will be no down time. She promises she'll rest in four years, after she's landed a top-tier residency. Doyle smiles the knowing smile of all grad-school widows. He sweetly tells her how much he loves her, but I know from experience that in his brain, he is seeing the gaping maw of his stressball future spread out before him like an endless flaming river of pain. Hmm? What's that? Why, yes, my husband is working through his PhD comps right now. Why do you ask?

They are interrupted by Rory, who arrives home after spending the night over at Lucy and Olivia's. "Can you believe we graduate tomorrow?" Rory asks, all smiles. "I can't wrap my head around it." Paris rolls her eyes, asking if Rory's going to get all sentimental. "That wasn't sentimental," Rory insists. "That was incredulous. I'm allowed to be incredulous, I mean, can you believe it?" Paris says that, yeah, she can believe it. "I checked out of this place the minute I got into Harvard," she says, smug. "God, I never get tired of saying that." Rory reiterates that she really can't believe it, and that she plans to savor every moment of her last day. "Well, savor while you spackle," Paris says, "because I will take you to small claims court if I don't get back my full deposit."

Lorelai arrives at the diner looking supercute and resolute. Sitting at the counter, she says hello to Babette and Miss Patty. "He's upstairs," Babette says with no preamble. "I'm sure you can go right on up." Lorelai says no, no, she's just there for coffee. "Suuuure you are," Miss Patty says. Lorelai insists that really, it's just coffee. "Honey, we were there," Babette says. Miss Patty says yeah, they heard the song. "The way you locked eyes with him," she adds, all romantical. Lorelai is flustered. "No, no, no," she says. "It was just karaoke. You know, I got all swept up in the moment! It didn't mean anything!" Oops, whether she means it or not, she doesn't realize that Luke is walking up behind her, smiling. When he hears what she says, however, the smile instantly dies. Sort of like my will to live when I am confronted with the returning-next-season visage of Chad Michael Murray. While Lorelai tries to salvage the moment by flirting, in her way, with Luke and receiving the ultra-cold shoulder in return, Babette and Patty keep a running banter about how they can't wait to see Rory graduate from Yale. "I didn't know you wanted to come," Lorelai says, cringing. Oh, but of course they do. Lorelai says she'll call to check to see if there are enough tickets. Babette lists off everyone who wants to come -- including "Gypsy, plus one...she says" -- a list that numbers in the dozens. Lorelai is relieved when her phone rings and she sees it's Rory and steps outside to take the call. "You're not going to believe it!" Rory cries when Lorelai answers, and Lorelai, thinking this is the big proposal-reveal moment, steels herself to receive the news. But that ain't it. "Milan Kundera is speaking at our graduation!" Rory says, excited. Lorelai breathes a sigh of relief, which Rory takes for nonchalance. "Oh," she asks, "you're not a Kundera fan?" Lorelai plays it off: "Oh, no," she says, "I'm unbearably light on him." Good one, good one.

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