Gilmore Girls
Welcome To The Doll House

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Rory asks Logan to recap the conversation, and he says it seems to him that Richard was asking about their plans and their future and marriage. Rory is astounded. "I'm only twenty," she says. "We're young! We just started going out! Why would he even be thinking about marriage?" Logan says he doesn't know, but that maybe they should hang out at his place for a while "so as not to give your grandparents a visual to latch onto." Rory says no, that she'll take care of it, and talk to her grandparents.

Y'all, I am sorry this recap is so boring, but this episode is a million times more boring than the human mind can comprehend. I can't be blamed! It's Minute 35 and I am begging for the end.

At the Dragonfly, Lorelai finds Michel at the front desk and tells him she's starved. "You're always starved," he drones. "Yes," she says, "but now I'm crash-landed-in-the-Andes, eat-my-teammates starved." She says she's going out to lunch, but then notices the new delivery boxes on the counter. "Where is all this stuff coming from?" she asks, desperately ripping open another box containing some crazy figurine. Michel says it looks like classic Home Shopping Channel addiction. She denies having such an addiction, although she admits that the figurines do look familiar. "Mmm, hmm," Michel snarks, "and was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?" Before Lorelai can escape, he tells her that Kirk is waiting for her in the dining room to talk about the street name. Kirk is wearing a three-piece suit, and tells Lorelai that the Starts Hollow Board of Tourism is generously offering to give her one of three names that pre-date Sores & Boils Alley, so that whatever she chooses will still be historically accurate. The first one is Constabulary Road. Lorelai reminds him that Esther Wilkins received the exact same name, and that it would be incredibly confusing for both streets to have the same name. Kirk agrees that it would be a disaster. "It was back then, too," he says. "Mail was misdelivered, soldiers lost their way. It completely disoriented senior citizens. There was rioting, chaos, death. Everyone hated it." Lorelai doesn't bother to ask why she's been offered this name, and asks that they move on to choice #2, which is an unpronounceable fake Native American name that is not funny and not worth trying to spell out. The third option is from 1768 and is, Kirk says, something "flavorful": Crusty Bulge. "OH, come ON," Lorelai says. "The Dragonfly is a business. We need a credible street name!" She says they're going to keep Third Street. Kirk says that Taylor won't like that, but Lorelai actually shows some gumption and insists that is what's going to happen. She goes on a small rant about how ridiculous the other names are and, in the middle of it, suddenly comes has a revelation about all the packages she's been receiving. She finishes with Kirk, who is glad to be done, since his mom apparently tied his tie too tight. Too bad she didn't tie it tight enough to choke the life out of this episode.

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Gilmore Girls

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