Gilmore Girls
We've Got Magic To Do

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Leave Your Cheese To Sour

A little dinner party is going on at Sookie and Jackson's house. Luke and Lorelai are there enjoying Sookie's cooking as the television blares about three feet from their faces. They can't exchange two sentences without Sookie or Jackson yelling at Davey to turn the volume down. Now, Davey is about two years old, right? Or, is he even that? The kid doesn't understand the word "volume." Or the word "television" or the remote, or how to sit up in a chair by himself for long stretches, or anything like what he is allegedly doing now. Jackson asks if anyone saw "that new show" on TV last night. Lorelai: "The one where they were solving crimes by cutting bodies open and poking their organs?" Jackson says no. From the kitchen, Sookie asks if he means "the one where they're solving crimes from thirty years ago by going to graveyards, and cutting open bodies and poking their organs?" Nope. "Oh!" Lorelai says, "the one where people are missing and then they find their bodies and poke their organs and that's how they solve crimes?" Jackson says no, that isn't it, either. Lorelai: "Well, what else is on?" Ha! Good one, Lorelai. Well, you might want to watch that show about how aliens are invading a nice small town; or maybe the one about how aliens are invading that town on the water; or even the one about aliens, and how they're going to the high school down the street from you. Of course, there are all sorts of other shows on TV, too. The one about the psychic who talks to dead people. The one about the other psychic who talks to people who are...dead. And the one about the two brothers who run around, uh, seeing people who have died.

Lorelai and Sookie go into the kitchen to feed Paul Anka -- he has to eat off his own fork, plastic preferred -- and they realize Jackson has left the barbecue on. Sookie says she can't take another fire, which brings up the subject of the Dragonfly fire and the insurance snafu. Lorelai's going to have to go to her father for help with the policy, since the company is giving her the same runaround Michel received. They don't have time to discuss it any further as hell kind of breaks loose. Martha wakes up and starts crying, Paul Anka barks, and Davey still won't make the necessary motor control advances to turn down the TV volume. During all this madness, Luke is the only one who has no reaction. He continues patiently eating his dinner while Lorelai looks on.

At The Grandparents', Richard is trying to read while Emily frets over the changes Rory has made to the event menu. She gets mad when she realizes he isn't really listening to her. "I'm sorry, Emily," he says, "it takes a second to emerge from Samuel Beckett, he's a strange man." I love Richard when he's written well. Emily is upset that Rory has thrown out the entire menu. She can understand some of it: "I mean, granted, Constance was going with Cornish game hen, been there, done that," she says, "and her fetish for Brussels sprouts is upsetting." Emily is trying not to panic that Rory is making such big changes, but she's worried. She says she's trying to keep out of it. "You're doing a terrific job," Richard deadpans. Emily hits him with the big guns: Rory's not serving salmon puffs! Richard has finally had enough. "Emily, please," he says. "It's Rory. What she tackles, she conquers." While he lists out a stream of Rory's many accomplishments, I have to wonder if he's forgotten that his wonderfully brilliant granddaughter is living in his pool house after quitting Yale because...someone hurt her feelings, and that all it would have taken to set her back on her path was some support in the form of an ass-kicking.

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Gilmore Girls

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