Emily and Richard are at the bar, where another DAR member is complimenting Rory's management of the fundraiser. Emily is proud, but then freaks when she discovers that Mrs. Huntzberger has been seated at the "slush table." She rushes to Rory to make her fix it, saying that table is the "loser" table, and that they can't have the Huntzbergers sitting there. "There's 'people,'" Emily says, "and then there's the Huntzbergers, This needs to be rectified." Rory says that every other table is taken, but Emily insists that even though it is unfair, they can bump someone and move the Huntzbergers to another table. Rory corrects her. "You keep saying 'The Huntzbergers,' but it's just Shira." Ah, but no. As Emily points out, Mr. Bastard is there, too.
Rory wigs and takes off for the kitchen. Paris is there again, for whatever reason -- is she really working? -- and Rory tells her she's having a panic attack. Paris jumps into action, diagnosing the level of seriousness of the attack. "You need Diazepam," she says, "fifty...no, one hundred milligrams. I'll get my purse." Rory says she doesn't want any of that, and Paris offers her one of several more options she has floating around the bottom of her bag. Rory is losing it, now: "Shira's one thing, but Mitchum? I can't face him, it's too much. After what he did? What he said to me?" Paris is worried. She asks what Mitchum said to Rory. "If it weren't for him," Rory says, "I wouldn't have..." Aha! The truth come out. She stalls, but it's clear: if not for him, she wouldn't have left Yale. Paris goes on another anti-capitalist rant, but Rory stops her, saying she hasn't eaten all day, and maybe that's what's wrong. "Sure, boss," Paris says. "Go eat. Probably somewhere else where you eat, right? A special room..."
Back at Miss Patty's, the ballerinas are doing Swan Lake and Sookie is crying. Miss Patty steps out when it's over to introduce the final act of the night. One of her former students is going to reenact a performance he did on her stage twenty years ago: "Here to present a piece of his own creation entitled 'The Journey of Man,' exactly as her performed it twenty years ago, is Kirk!" Creepy music starts as Kirk comes onto the stage in a mime outfit, and Lorelai whispers to Sookie that it's moments like these that make life worth living. Except...Kirk's "journey" starts with conception and birth, and it's gross. The audience looks on in horror as he makes crazy faces depicting an infant being born. "So," Lorelai says, "it's the birth of Lucille Ball?" I hate to say this, but Sean Gunn should maybe not wear horizontal stripes. I thought he had a basketball under his shirt for about half of this, and kept waiting for him to whip it out.