Looking out the window, Lorelai sees that Luke has arrived back early from his camping trip. She sneaks out and goes over to the diner to ask why: "The woods closed, or something?" Luke says he can't really explain it. "It's, you know, nature. I felt like coming back," he says. "I can't do what I want to do?" Yes, Lorelai says, but camping is what he wanted to do, right? No, he answers, it's what she wanted him to do. She asks when he turned against camping, and he says he didn't, but he doesn't like it that Lorelai banished him to the woods. "I like doing things with you," he says. "I like going shopping with you. I like having dinner with Sookie and Jackson." He says that, yes, the actual shopping seems a little pointless, and that the kids drive him crazy: "But you're there, and I like hanging with you." He says that he could have been fun at the recital, sitting there mocking stuff. "Oh, you're a great mocker," Lorelai confirms. She just wanted to make sure he was doing the things he enjoyed, instead of feeling like he has to do things with her. "I wasn't getting rid of you," she says. "I want you to do whatever you want to do with me!" She says she knows that sounds dirty, "and dirty things count," but she really means that the two of them can hang out any time, wherever. She promises again that se wasn't trying to get rid of him. He shrugs. "I mean, I wasn't dying to see baton twirling," he admits. Lorelai: "I'm happy to be with a man who isn't." She asks if he wants to go back to the recital with her: "Kirk is doing something strange and disturbing." It's tempting, but Luke says he thinks he'll head back to the woods. She smiles, and leaves. Why do they never, ever show each other physical affection? Even a kiss goodbye? It bugs me. These are two very sexy people in the most asexual relationship ever to be seen on screen. We have to watch Rory and Logan kiss all the TIME. Less of that, more of the Luke! ["Yeah. It's really too bad Luke and Lorelai hate each other so much." -- Wing Chun]
Back at the recital, Kirk has reached the "death" portion of his act. "Kirk's dying," Sookie whispers. "Well," Lorelai says, "it's going to happen to all of us one day." She looks at him flopping around on the floor and adds, "Just not so spazzy." When he's done, the whole school comes back out for the closing reprise of "Magic To Do." More glitter is blown around and Sookie can't take it: "It's so stressful!"
At the DAR event, Richard runs into Mitchum in the men's room. They glad-hand it a bit (not like that!), and Richard mentions that Rory planned the whole event. Huntzbastard says that Rory's a sweet kid and that he wishes her nothing but the best. Ew. Richard doesn't pick up the evil vibe and, rich guy to rich guy, asks what really happened with Rory and the internship. Mitchum tries to blow it off (not like that!) and repeats that Rory is a great kid. Richard says she is, and that she's a great journalist. Huntzbutthole casually says, "Maybe." Richard wants to know what he means by "maybe." Huntzbaddie (I can go on all day, people) says he knows what's great and what's not great, and Richard says sure, he knows Rory's not exactly Ben Bradlee yet, but that she could be one day. Hatezberger gives him the brush once again, saying that "anything's possible." Ugh. Richard gets pissed and asks again what exactly happened at the paper. Bitchum says it just didn't work out, and that Rory is better off for what he did. He goes on to say that it was nothing Richard wouldn't have done, had be been confronted with a businessman who was a drain on the company. He says he wasn't going to put Rory into a position to become a drain on his paper. This is so ridiculous for about ten reasons. First, she's twenty years old and clearly decent enough to write for Yale's paper, which is no small shakes, so it's reasonable to assume she'd be okay to intern for a Stanford daily. Also, so what if she's not Ben Bradlee yet, or ever. Not every journalist becomes the editor of The Washington Post. Are we to believe that if she can't achieve a Pulitzer by age twenty-three, she might as well not even bother? Richard wants to know exactly what Mitchbum said to Rory. He says he did what he had to do, and that if Rory has what it takes, she'll bounce back. ["Which is true. The reason Rory hasn't bounced back is that she's a spoiled baby." -- Wing Chun] "No one's ever critiqued you, Richard?" Huntzberger asks. "I find that hard to believe." Oh, if only Grandpa would sock him one. It escalates, and Hotzbooger says it's his fault, anyway. He felt bad about Rory sitting through that stupid family dinner with Shira and Logan's grandfather going on about marriage and how Rory couldn't become a Huntzberger, and he gave her a shot and she wasn't up to it. Richard's really mad. He yells again that Rory was crushed, and Mitchum (fine, I'm all out) says he did what he does.