Re-enactment. About five people have come to watch. The reverend cracks dumb jokes. For some reason, children (so we know what's happened to that kid from Life With Bonnie) have been asked to tell the tale of Stars Hollow's second-most famous slut (hard to dethrone Rory). But -- HILARITY! -- when Taylor rides his horse to his mark, it isn't Lulu who meets him in the middle of the street. It's Kirk. Lulu's sick, and Kirk didn't want to let anyone down. Kid delivers the dumb line, "That's the ugliest lady I've ever seen." Enjoy your SAG card, kid. Taylor is humiliated, screeching to Kirk that he is humiliating him and he's livid, and this is the worst thing he's ever done. Kirk gets in the great line: "We're not supposed to be arguing, Taylor. We're supposed to be making love!" They head into the...high school? I don't know where they're supposed to be going, but I think it's the high school. We hear the story of Stars Hollow's Slut one more time. Lorelai leaves to go back to the inn.

Emily enters the poolhouse. Richard tells her that someone came for Dog, who is now a she again. Someone found the owner who came to pick the dog up last night. When Richard didn't see a light on in Emily's house, he didn't want to call and disturb her. She says she wouldn't have been disturbed. I had a dog given away while I was in the house, and the trauma of never saying goodbye to that Bassett haunts me to this day. Don't do this to people, I beg of you. It sucks to lose a dog. Emily and Richard talk about how irresponsible it was of that owner. "Her name was Princess, by the way," Richard tells her. Emily and Richard have a moment before they go back to their lives.