Taylor runs out of Miss Patty's and asks Lorelai if she'd play the Woman of Easy Virtue. As Lorelai declines the sweet offer, she stomps into an ice puddle. She is very upset, as would I be, if I thought it'd be smart to wear four-hundred-dollar stilettos in the middle of winter. But then if I did that I'd be so stupid that I'd obviously get angry about all sorts of irrational things, like wind, salt, the number seven. Taylor goes back inside, asking to see the girls' "sexy walks."
Lorelai stomps into Luke's, the strum and trumpet of wacky protagonist gloom wavering in the background. Lorelai whines about the puddle that came up and ruined her outfit. Luke goes to fix it. Lorelai tells him to stop doing that and give her coffee right away. Luke goes to get her coffee. Lorelai says "gimme." Luke asks about her day. Lorelai spits out a litany of complaints, including the missing Goldfarbs. Lorelai sips her coffee and practically screams: "Hot! Warn me!" Luke apologizes for inventing coffee and making it hot, because how could Lorelai ever be expected to take the blame for anything when she's so fucking perfect that her precious lips should ne'er feel heat, nor too cold, nor have to move rapidly while on the phone to order mats, find the Goldfarbs, hire some extra laborers, order coffee or perhaps blow a stream of cool air upon her recently ordered hot beverage. Kirk runs into Luke's, screaming, "My girlfriend's the whore! My girlfriend's the whore! Woohoo! Yeah!" Lorelai complains that she's not even the town whore anymore. Technically, that honor goes to Rory. Luke offers to leave a little something on the dresser for her. Lorelai would only complain that you didn't tip her enough. And then she'd make you make her breakfast. And then give yourself a blowjob. What? I said it. Luke gives Lorelai an ice cube to fix her precious lip. Gah.
Emily's on the phone, trying to find someone who's looking for a white, long-haired Jack Russell terrier. She hangs up and tells Richard she figured a call to the neighborhood busybody was the first thing they should do. How many days have they had the dog that they just started making phone calls? Richard says that the dog is asleep, but he needs a food bowl. Wait, is it still the same day? It's been a really long day. Emily fetches Richard a food bowl and asks what he's feeding the dog. Richard says he'll pick some chunks of meat out of some leftover stew. Emily is mortified to find out that Richard's valet serves him stew. She makes Richard promise to tell the valet to prepare more proper food. Richard thanks Emily for the bowl and promises that the stew is history. Emily has a moment after Richard leaves to let us know that they're on the mend.