Hey, I forgot how Lorelai sews. Anyway, she's made an entire whore outfit for Lulu while telling Rory all about the newest historical footnote to Stars Hollow's role in the Revolutionary War. ["And may I just say, if Lorelai can just whip that shit up, she's missed her calling in life and should be an Oscar-winning costume designer." -- Wing Chun] Rory asks Lorelai why she hasn't said anything about the first snow. Lorelai says that she and snow had a rough day today, which was probably due to the fact that she's too clingy with snow. Snow needed to create a boundary and push her away -- give itself a little space. Rory notes that snow and men have a lot in common. Lorelai asks Rory if anything interesting happened to her today, and Rory does that thing where she lies so poorly that it's like she's asking someone to ask her if she's lying. All, "NO! NOPE! NOTHING INTERESTING! NOT A THING. NOT EVEN DAD COMING TO SEE ME OUT OF THE BLUE, BEGGING TO REPAIR OUR RELATIONSHIP. IF THAT HAPPENED, I'D TOTALLY TELL YOU, BUT NOPE. JUST ME AND BOOKS TODAY. THEY TRIED TO TEACH ME ABOUT MORALS IN PHILOSOPHY, BUT I TOTALLY WON'T LISTEN." Can't spell Gilmore without L-I-E. As Lorelai promises she's not giving up on her boyfriend Snow just yet, we see that her first-floor ceiling is leaking, kind of right below her bedroom, which is weird, but whatever. I guess we'll just forget that the house has a second floor because that's what we do on this show. We forget the truth. That's how the Gilmores make it through each and every day. Why am I so grumpy with these women today? Maybe because they keep lying to EVERYBODY.
Instant karma: Lorelai walks out to her Jeep in the morning, only to see it is half-deep in snow. Lorelai is stunned silent, and then a branch breaks and all of the snow in the tree above the Jeep falls on top of it, burying it completely. I'd be upset for Lorelai, but it's not like she's going to lift a damn finger to fix this problem.
Cue Luke! Lorelai whines and mopes and complains and just goes on and on about how much she hates snow while Luke actually does all the physical labor. "Man, she's so annoyingly lazy!" I shout. Stee looks at me and says, "You ever dig a car out from snow? It's really hard work." "So, you're saying it's fine that she's not doing anything?" I ask. "I don't care about this show anymore" is Stee's response. And then he stops watching. I don't think he'll ever watch it again, and you guys all know how much he used to love this show. That's the saddest thing that's ever happened in the history of this show. Stee just broke up with Luke. Moment of silence, please. Remember when everybody would come over and watch this with me? Now I do this by myself. Alone. Nobody cares. Just me and the Gilmores. Also, Lorelai is wearing a negligee and a lace scarf. I cannot feel bad for her or her snow breakup. Through the open garage door, I can see that Luke's dad's boat has snow on it. It starts snowing again as Lorelai goes on and on, so she swats at the snow and calls it stupid and says she hates it and then she throws an even bigger tantrum, somehow.