Gilmore Girls
Women Of Questionable Morals

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Stars Hollow's First Annual Skank-Off

Friday night. Rory and Lorelai show up at the poolhouse, swearing that they didn't arrive together; they just happened to get there at the same time. They are surprised to see Emily sitting by the fireplace, keeping Dog company. Emily tells them to ignore her and go about their visit. Rory pets the dog briefly as Richard tells Emily he got a "peek" when Dog was on its back, and now he's sure Dog is a boy. "They're so hairy down there," Emily notes. "This one especially," Richard agrees. Lorelai says this has gone from weird to weirder. Emily and Richard explain how the dog showed up and has no tags. Richard tells Emily that he's having a drink made for her as well, even though she insists she's not officially there. Emily thanks him for the drink. They have a cute little banter about Richard missing work, and then Emily tells them to pretend she's not there. Lorelai tells Rory that Emily can be "such a witch with a 'B.'" Ignoring Emily is quickly impossible for the rest of them ("You have a presence that cannot be ignored," says Richard), so they include her in their conversation. Richard doesn't want her to leave, since Dog likes her there.

Emily asks when Rory and Lorelai got Christopher's bad news. When she and Richard discover that Rory and Lorelai don't know what they're talking about, they go on about how odd that is before they finally reveal that Christopher's father, Straub, died this morning. Way to be in mourning, Gilmores. Then we find out that they'd known Straub had been very sick, diagnosed a month ago, so they weren't surprised that he had passed away. Emily says it caught his wife Francine completely off-guard: "That poor woman." That poor woman is currently babysitting an infant. Lorelai asks Rory if she checked "all [her] voicemails," which I don't exactly understand, to determine if Chris called her. Rory's all, "NOPE! NEVER HEARD FROM MY DAD. I'VE NEVER EVEN MET HIM! AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE BROUGHT ME COFFEE AND HUNG OUT AT MY SCHOOL ALL DAY SO THAT HIS GRIEVING WIDOWED MOM HAD TO STAY HOME AND CHANGE DIAPERS THROUGH HER TEARS. DOES ANYONE WANT ANOTHER MARTINI? I DON'T SLEEP WITH MARRIED MEN." Lorelai and Rory decide to send flowers for the funeral. Maybe one of you would go to the funeral? Oh, right. Dog. Wouldn't want to leave his side. Emily says that Christopher had a tortured relationship with Straub, "but none of that matters in the end." Emily tells the girls that Christopher and "the baby" are staying with Francine until "all of this" is behind them: "I'll give you the address before you go." Wait, so Christopher's parents don't live in the same house they lived in when Lorelai and Christopher used to have sex there? Emily says she's already signed their name to some flowers. The dog stands, suddenly. Emily: "He moved! Is it supposed to do that?" Richard walks over to show Emily how Dog likes his blanket arranged, as he's picky. Rory pouts. Lorelai asks if Rory knew Straub was sick. Rory says "kind of," but that Christopher didn't make it sound like "a big thing." Lorelai feels really bad for Christopher, what with his wife leaving him and this new baby he doesn't want. Richard rolls up the blanket just like my cat Cal likes his blankets, and the dog rests his head on the "bump." Richard wants to replace Emily's drink, as there's a dog hair in it, but Emily says it's fine. Uh-huh.

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Gilmore Girls

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