Gilmore Girls
Written In The Stars

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Know When to Hold 'Em

The town is divvying up Stars Hollow post-breakup. Luke's had enough. He storms into the center of the meeting and says this is his relationship and his business. He points at everyone whose business it isn't, and it's everybody but Lorelai. "Mine and hers. But not yours." He says there's no more debating about whether the relationship is a good idea, because they're in a relationship already. "Show him the horoscope!" Lorelai shouts. Luke says there won't be a breakup, but if there is, he'll move out immediately: "I'll close up Luke's Diner, I'll go far, far away." Every section on the map will be pink. ["Hello, series finale." -- Wing Chun] Taylor asks for Luke's word. Luke offers his word and a couple of middle fingers. I hope we haven't just been foreshadowed Episode 22. ["See my comment above." -- Wing Chun] Taylor calls the meeting resolved and tells everyone to show up next week to be fingerprinted for the government. Lorelai says, "Wow!" to Luke. He asks if she's "still in." She says she is, but then realizes something. She takes out her phone, calls Rory, and begins apologizing.

Rory doesn't know what Lorelai is repeatedly apologizing for until she turns around and sees Emily crashing her party. Wake. Whatever. Rory hangs up to Lorelai's final apology. Emily says that she had to get out of the house, so she came by to say hello. This is how Emily finds out that Asher died, and she assumes that Richard didn't mention it to her. Rory doesn't seem to realize that she should call Richard. I'll stop harping on this now, but I hope Richard's off somewhere having a drink to Asher right now. Emily worries that she'll have to go to that "insufferable man's funeral" now. Rory whispers that Asher was cremated. Paris hugs Emily and says it means a lot to her that she came. Emily says that Asher was very devoted to his students. Paris breaks into tears and Emily consoles her, saying that Yale is full of good professors. Marty brings a root beer to Rory. She thanks him for everything. "For you, anything," he says. Marty then awkwardly but obviously asks Rory if she has a boyfriend. Rory's all, "I don't know." God. Rory. Do it or don't do it. Don't be such a puss. Why does Rory always wait to be chosen? Why can't she make a decision? Why doesn't she do anything? And then she sort of does, here, by walking away from Marty without answering him, ditching both her grandmother and her grieving friend...

...and drives straight to CuteDean's parents' house, where she knocks on the door. CuteDean's the only person who ever answers this door, and his parents don't seem to mind that he's getting booty calls on a Tuesday night. Rory silently walks into CuteDean's house and he shuts the door behind her. Having a discreet affair means not parking your Prius in front of the house, dumb-ass.

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Gilmore Girls

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