Oh, man. See, Keith -- Eric Stoltz -- tells his dad he used his college fund to buy these diamond earrings, and his dad, who's blue-collar, just wants the best for Keith. He really wants Keith to go to college so Keith doesn't have to be a mechanic anymore. But really Keith is an artist. He paints. So he doesn't want to go to college any more than he wants to be a mechanic. But when he's a mechanic he can paint. And be in love. So to win the rich girl, he buys her something she doesn't have -- the one thing she doesn't have: these diamond earrings. And they offend her because rich girls get offended when poor guys try to come up to their level ["only Amanda Jones isn't rich; she's 'from our sector,' or whatever the quote is, and just hangs out with rich girls and borrows their diamond earrings" -- Wing Chun], and Craig Sheffer is the poor man's Spader, but all of this is to say that my favorite line is when Keith tells his dad he spent the college fund and Keith's dad's all mad and he goes, "Oh, Keith, you're only eighteen." And Keith throws his towel and goes, "Then I'm nineteen. Then I'm twenty. Dad, when does my life belong to me?!" It's awesome and hysterical and exactly how you feel at eighteen. Some of you will learn that in the next two years, when you turn eighteen. Until then, please rent Some Kind of Wonderful.
Lorelai does that thing she does here where she asks her fella to be her secret boyfriend, because Lorelai is so embarrassed to date people. She asks Luke if they should keep it quiet from everybody, I guess because he wasn't flirty enough with her just now in the middle of his restaurant, or when they were trying to kiss by a parade. Lorelai offers to add a little jaunt to her walk as she leaves, for Luke's benefit. Rory asks Lorelai what she's going to wear on her very first real date with Luke (glass slippers, backwards baseball cap, and nothing else). It's weird that Rory and Lorelai talk about the actual sex stuff with each other. I mean, I want my mom to be happy, but when she starts trying to tell me about the particulars of her sexual relationships, there's an instinctual, visceral reaction inside of me. I have to stop myself from pushing her, which is the natural reaction to your mom talking about her sex life, and instead I transfer that energy into a sound like "Noooo!" or "Shut up!" or "Gaaaah!" She gets it now, but for a little while, man. It was rough being the daughter of a single woman. Here's a tip, from me to you: to finally get her to stop doing it, I told her that if she didn't want to hear me tell her whatever tidbit she was about to share, then she shouldn't tell me. So if she tries to tell me about some weird bruise she got from some headboar--...NOOOO!!!....anyway, if she didn't want to hear me talk about...a coupling...then she can't say it to me. It's working. But sometimes I still have to cover my ears and go "BLAH BLAH BLAH! MY MOM'S A VIRGIN! BLAH BLAH BLAH!" Hey, does anybody care if I even recap the rest of this? Because I could just stream-of-consciousness away here. Oh, you want the recap? Fine. I'm just sayin'. We could have all gone for ice cream. Lorelai tries to ask Rory if she's talked to CuteDean, but Rory goes all twitchy and quiet. Luckily, Luke brings over the breakfast, and warns the girls that there are hot plates coming through. Lorelai: "See? He called me 'Hot Plates.' He soooo likes me?" Luke looks around at all the people they weren't going to tell they were dating, and says, "Jeez."