Gilmore Girls
You Jump, I Jump, Jack

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C | 1 USERS: A+
Being An Asshole Is Really Expensive

Luke's. Lane serves and order and then runs out of the diner to talk to mfTL. She asks why he's acting "all squirrelly." He tells her, "I'm ready now. To date." He asks if the offer's still good. It is. He says they should pick a time. "How 'bout now?" Lane says she's kind of working. Tonight they both have band practice. They agree to figure it out. "See you at home." MfTL almost runs into a passing car. He's running with his hands in his pockets, which always makes for a silly run.

Back in the diner, Lorelai's in a new outfit, so I’m drinking. She asks Lane how it's going. Lane says it's going "very good [sic]." Lorelai rolls her eyes and is all, "Oh, well. Lucky you." She pouts over to the counter and plops onto a stool, asking Luke how dark the clouds above her head are. Lorelai breaks it to Luke that they have to have dinner with Emily. Luke doesn't see the catastrophe, but Lorelai likens the words "mother, dinner, us" to "car, test, crash test dummy." She says she'll try to get them out of it. Luke thinks they should just do it, and that meeting the parents is something they'll have to do eventually. Lorelai brags that her fourth-grade teacher once wanted to meet with her parents, and now that she was hit by a bus six months ago, that's one less person her parents will ever have to meet. Luke tells her to book the date. Lorelai tells him he can't back out of this thing once it's set, no matter what. Luke is confident that he will make the date. Lorelai tries to pull out her cell phone, but it's suddenly made of lead, and of evil and dark forces. Luke tells her to make the call. Lorelai takes us way back to 1999 by whimpering, "I see dead people." Yeah, baby! Does this recap make you horny, baby? Schwing!

Time jump! Who knows what day it is. Who cares? Luke and Lorelai are now at Emily's front door. Hold on, I've got to take another drink for Lorelai's new outfit as Luke marvels over Emily's house. He calls it a waste, and claims it's the reason that peasants revolt and heads end up on pikes. "Open with that," Lorelai says. "That's a great icebreaker." Hee. Lorelai appears to be talking to me when she warns Luke about his consumption of booze tonight. Luke says he won't drink too much, but Lorelai says he should do just the opposite: "Ride the pink elephant, baby." She says that'll be his only defense against Emily unless he's packing a Kalashnikov. Lorelai picks up a metal rod -- of the kind we have in front of our house, but ours is to turn on the sprinkler system, which couldn't possibly be why Emily has one -- and uses it to draw in a plant pot the game plan to hit the booze as quickly as possible. She tells him to take off his coat and roll it into a ball so it's ready to be handed off to the maid as quickly as possible.

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Gilmore Girls




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