Gilmore Girls
You've Been Gilmored

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: A+
Con Men And Trotskyites!

Back at home, Lorelai is putting pizzas on a tray for the oven. "Have you noticed," she asks Rory, "that anything in a red wine reduction sauce leaves you hungry twenty minutes later?" Rory says yeah, especially if you don't eat it. Lorelai rants on, saying that her parents took an exceptionally long time for dinner that night. "My mother started on the white meat portion of her game hen at 8:15 and did not reach the drumstick 'til ten of nine." As she makes more bad food, Rory asks about June 3rd, saying that she thought the wedding had been postponed. Lorelai says that she was on the spot and didn't want to go through the whole explanation with her parents. I feel you, girl. My new philosophy is Tell No One Nothing About Anything, Ever. That way, they won't have to share in my many disappointments, thus allowing me to appear to the outside world as much less of a gigantic loser. "I just said June 3rd," she says, "and it could still happen, and if it doesn't...I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." Pathological avoidance. Good plan. Rory comes out of her room in full-on Yale attire, and says that she understands Lorelai's thinking.

Lorelai mentions that Christopher might like a Yale sweatshirt, or something -- that maybe it would make him feel more involved in Rory's life. She asks Rory if she's talked to Christopher lately, saying it's weird how he pops up and then disappears. "I wonder what he's up to," she says, suspiciously. Rory says that maybe he's just doing what he promised to do: putting up the money and staying out of everything else. Lorelai contemplates this. "That's so un-Christopher of him," she says, turning on Bullets Over Broadway. ["Also...girl, please. That's entirely Christopher of him. It's so Christopher of him to disappear that I'm shocked the tuition money didn't disappear with him." -- Wing Chun] She suggests that Rory invite Christopher to Yale to look around. "Just don't take him to the library," she says, shivering with mock boredom. "And don't show him all your classes, and don't make him touch the toe." Rory looks offended and says that it's her tour. "Seriously," she says. "Don't speak."

The staff of the Yale paper is in nervous conference when Rory comes in. They confirm her previous fears: Paris has been ousted by the board. Thing is, no one has told Paris, who won't come out of her cardboard cave. "I interrupted Her Highness," one staffer says, "and got a five-thousand-word lecture on Robert's Rules of Order." Rory says that Paris has got to be told about her ouster, and volunteers to be the one to do it: "It's probably better that the person delivering the news doesn't chuckle with glee while doing it."

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Gilmore Girls




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