Girls Club
Book Of Virtues

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Book Of Virtues

Halls of Bustice. Sarah casually talks on her cell phone in the back of the courtroom. The hell? That's what the hallways are for, you boob. She tells Gretchen, on the other end, that there's no need to wish Sarah luck since this is Randuh's moment. Of course, Randuh and Miss Holt walks in just as she says that and they exchange nasty looks. Miss Holt reams out Sarah for talking on her cell phone. Good.

Gretchen's office. Jeannie paces back and forth as Gretchen tells her that she's starting to become suspicious that Michael is gay, since he's going out of town tomorrow. Yes, a hallmark of homosexuality is frequent travel. Jeannie paces and paces, then finally busts out that her stupid boss-type man was trying to emotionally manipulate her and position himself as her "savior" so she'd "have no choice but to become soulmates with his penis." Wow, what winning dialogue. She goes on to say that no one takes her seriously at the firm. Well, sometimes that takes time. And sometimes it never happens. Gretchen says they do take her seriously, and did she ever consider wearing less makeup? She says it as though wearing too much makeup is akin to having oozing open sores. And, what a way to kick a friend when she's feeling down. Could your timing be better? Jeannie is stunned: "You think I wear too much makeup?" Hence the question. Gretchen lamely says that "sometimes too much makeup hides a woman's sophistication." Now that has to be a line Michelle said to David E. Kelley at some point. Jeannie wants to know if Gretchen and Sarah have talked about this privately. Naturally. Gretchen uses the term "makeup issues." This is the most offensive crap I think I've ever heard from David E. Kelley, lately. How unnecessarily cruel. Giancarlo comes in and shoos away Jeannie, who says in her best 90210-ese, "Whatever."

Giancarlo has decided to settle the suit against Gretchen for $52,000, because after her outburst, the case "now has a modicum of merit." See? I told her to shut up. Gretchen stands up and says she was not about to sit there and take that. Giancarlo booms, "You screwed up!" Yes! Now go tell it to DEK. Giancarlo tells her that she at least should have brought in another attorney to "cover [her] ass." She says, "That's [her] big sin, isn't it -- not covering the firm's ass." Hey, a man is dead and now your employers have to pay a fee -- stop being so fucking ungrateful. But I guess that's the point. These girls are young and green, like tiny frogs. Giancarlo continues to tell Gretchen the ways in which she screwed up, and she interrupts. He says he's still talking, and she shoots back, "You're always talking! You're mentoring me for sport and I don't like it." Wooo! You're fired, missy.

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