Girls Club

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D+ | Grade It Now!

Halls of Bustice. Lynne enters in a whoosh of coat and blond hair. Then we cut inside. Father Exposition is on the stand telling the world that Michelle's confessions were largely about Noel. "Father, what did she say?" Felicity asks importantly. Lynne objects on the grounds that confessions are confidential and parishioners expect them to remain sealed. Felicity snarks that she's not representing all his parishioners. Father Exposition points out that he's probably going to be excommunicated for this, but that justice is more important to him than his spiffy white collar, so he's going to risk it, and also, he's sick of celibacy, and sick of hearing about other people having the sex that he can't, so could they please shut up and let him break his vows already? The judge understands and allows him to testify. Father Exposition then reveals that Michelle told him Noel raped her when he was fifteen. Lynne gasps. Noel looks...mild. "Sidebar, Your Honor," chokes Lynne. She argues that prior bad acts are inadmissible evidence, and that if it was a juvenile conviction, then it's sealed. "It should be a mistrial," Lynne rails. The judge slaps Felicity on the wrist and agrees, promptly ending the trial and remanding Noel to custody. "Is this you being older, or wiser?" Lynne sneers at Felicity, who just looks at her with a tinge of amusement.

Giancarlo asks Lynne whether she knew the contents of Father Exposition's testimony. "It was unfair surprise," she insists. "Did you interview him?" he asks. "He wouldn't talk to me," she sputters. "How many times did you try?" he asks. Busted! She probably didn't. Giancarlo gripes that he had severe misgivings entrusting a murder trial to a rookie. "I at least assumed you'd be prepared," he says. "That testimony was discoverable. You were surprised by it. You were unprepared, Counsel." Lynne argues that they had a good result anyway, but Giancarlo laughs hollowly. "Here's what happened: [Felicity] knew she was losing, knew full well it would result in a mistrial," he explains. "She wanted the mistrial so she could start all over again. Problem was, the prosecution can't ask for it, so she got you to ask for it. She totally picked your pocket, Counsel, and if you're happy with yourself, that tells me something." Lynne sneers that she might well say the same thing. "If your mission in life is to make me cry, that's never gonna happen," she growls. Shut up, Lynne. This isn't about you. This is about you screwing up and being cocky. He has every right to get up your nose about this and build a summer home there for his children, so just stop your us-versus-them whining and go eat a cheesecake.

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Girls Club




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