Glee Project
Dance-ability

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 1 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Dance Dance Devolution

Abraham needs lots of takes, Dani is too one-note for this romper room f**kery, and Tyler needs to calm down. The choreography does not go well the first time, to the point where Zach tells one group (of Nellie and Dani) not to even do the choreography he taught them. He really drives it home that they were horrible, but Zach sure thought he was cute doing it. Erik, the director, is speechless. Theater kids, he thinks to himself, why did I sign up for this? Even though I was resolved to focus most of my hatred on Blake at the beginning of this season, I think I hate all of them equally right now.

This week's pile of crap video airs, and we'll see what Erik was able to piece together. Everyone showed up to Abraham's house party with a full bag of groceries, a 2-liter bottle of soda, and absolutely no alcohol. I would never invite these people to a party. If they think I want to spend time pre-heating my oven, putting cookies on a baking sheet, and watching them kiss stone-cold sober they are sorely mistaken. I would kiss that boring, normal, math-loving Michael kid, though.

The dancing really was terrible, so the video had a lot of kissing in it and people throwing snack foods all over each other. Ha-ha, being covered in chips is such a blast. We gotta do this again some time.

The contestants gather on stage to hear Zach Woodlee's assessment of "who sucked the least" this week. I hope they all feel bad about themselves. Aylin, who re-discovered her sparkle through the power of male attention, Shanna, Blake, and Michael are all called back. Aylin celebrates a little too much, and it pisses Lily off. On one hand, I can't stand girls like that so I'm on Lily's side, but Lily's side is not the place to be because I want to associate myself with winners. So I'm back to hating everyone until they give me a reason not to.

Ali, Charlie, and Mario are also called back, and Mario wouldn't have been so surprised if he had realized how little he was in this week's episode. Nellie and Dani are in trouble because of the choreography, and also because Dani seemed like she was waiting for her ride at the party. I've been there, girl. Tyler is still annoying/awful. Lily is reprimanded for doing her stupid wedding dance, and Lily gets unattractively defensive. She was never given notes to do otherwise, and she was confused about what to do for continuity. She needs to shut her yap, because no one sasses Zach Woodlee and gets away with it. Abraham is in trouble for being too rigid, but he and Nellie are on the callback list. Thank god, because Abraham is a star.

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