For the video shoot, Erik asks the contenders for "those little moments," as they sneak away from detention on a Saturday. Because that's a thing that happens in school ever. Lily is actually doing a good job working off of the wooden block that is Michael. She might not be able to keep him out of the bottom three, but who can at this point?

Douche moment with Darren Criss: in the least helpful feedback a mentor has ever given a contestant so far this season, Darren Criss tells Blake that "it's an amazing feeling" to be in love with somebody. Blake confesses that he has a girlfriend, and America heaved a heavy sigh. To lose Blake and Michael in the same week is a load to difficult to bear.

Blake and Ali are being "playful, fun, and creative," and Robert loved when Blake carried Ali out of her chair. God, we love a wheelchair moment on this show, don't we? It felt so real, like she really couldn't use her legs. They also love Ali's goal for this week, which is to make teens with disabilities feel like they can be sexy. She is all kinds of winning this week, in this world, but still too act-y for me.

Aylin and Shanna are super act-y, and are chastised for taking the choreography "too literally." Nikki notes that it doesn't feel natural at all, because according to One Million Moms, it's not. They agree that everyone left is incredible, and because of that, maybe they should toy with their fragile hearts and put them all in the bottom. Maybe let the boys fight it out in some kind of homoerotic fantasy?

Aw, hey, Principal Figgins is in this video. I think they probably recorded it separately, though, because I don't see them all in the same shot ever. He leaves the detention room, and it's time for the horny-acting to begin, fueled by Blake's raw sexual prowess. If there's one thing the creator of these videos loves, it is teens pulling one over on the big, stupid adults. Take that, authority all the time!

Blake and Michael were the sexiest, based on looks alone, and Lily actually did a pretty good job not being awful or doing that stupid wedding dance thing she does every week. Michael's character gets extra points for having the time and foresight to pack a picnic lunch for this brief rendezvous on the bleachers. Eventually, all three of these unlikely couples kissed and grinded (ground?) a little bit, then ran back to detention, books and binders covering their raging teenage boners.