Thank God, this week's guest mentor is the adorable Darren Criss. But now is the time to turn your TV to mute, fans of Glee and its project because, spoiler alert, he's insufferable. Darren tells the contestants that he "loves coming on The Glee Project" because he gets a chance to meet people he could "potentially be working with," but we all know that's a lie. They would never saddle you with an inexperienced nobody, Darren Criss. You've sung with Matt Bomer.
For the homework performance, Blake and Ali have some stupid love note/paper airplane thing going on, and while I would love to touch Blake's body a lot, it's not working. Ali and Lily decided to start off like, in a fight? And Michael and Shanna are playing it straight. Ali always has this "I'm Acting" type of affectation about her that makes her difficult to watch for me, and it's even harder to see her acting so hard when Blake is just looking at her like he wants to cover her in expensive oils and show her what it is to be a woman.
Shanna and Michael share a sweet little kiss, and as everyone else is singing, Aylin and Lily pull focus with their own kiss. Ali and Blake touch noses. Darren Criss, Pompous Expert on Acting, tells everyone that they made choices and that was a good thing.
"Monsieur Michael!" he starts off. Oh my god, shut up forever. Just shut your well-groomed pie hole. He tells Michael and Shanna that they were a little stiff, and Shanna was like "oh hell naw." He found Lily and Aylin melodramatic, but liked Blake and Ali's relaxed nature. Blake wins the homework, and Darren Criss can give him some one-on-one tutelage on how to be a complete prick. Why do I hate him so much? I don't know.
This week's video will be "We Found Love" by Rihanna. And, like the song says, they are going to find love in a hopeless place. Because look around at the prospects here. This is the most hopeless place to pretend to be in love ever, and each pairing will be more unlikely than the next. As the winner of the homework assignment, Blake gets to choose his partner. Everyone, particularly Michael, blushes in anticipation. But Blake wants to "continue exploring with Ali." He could not have picked a creepier way to say that.
But I get it, he didn't want to be with any of these other jags, except maybe Shanna. Darren Criss is just known for being a "mix it up" kind of guy, so Lily and Michael are paired together, and Aylin and Shanna will be a couple. Hey, I bet Aylin kisses girls for attention all the time.