Glee

Ballad

Ballad - Pairing the Glee Club up to sing ballads to each other leads to Rachel developing a crush on Mr. Shuester and Kurt hatching a plot to wedge himself between Finn and Quinn.

Proud Mary Keep On Burnin'

Wheels - On tonight's Very Special Episode of Glee, the kids learn a lesson in empathy after they've been forced to live their lives out of wheelchairs for a week, some genius decides we need to see The Softer Side Of Sue, Quinn Fabray must shut up about her damned fetus before we beat her to death, and Our Sweet Little Baby Gay intentionally throws a Wicked sing-off with Rachel in order to protect his father from Lima's losers. We could easily have lived without three of these four things.

Attack Of The Singing Bush Baby

Mash-Up - Everything's topsy-turvy this week. Emma sings. Puck dates Rachel. Finn chooses football, while the other football players choose Glee. Quinn is unpopular. And Sue is nice. Thankfully, everything is back to normal by the end of the episode. Which means Sue is back to issuing scary threats. What a relief!

O Fortuna!

Throwdown -

It's Sue Sylvester's first week as co-captain of the Glee Club, and our favorite conniving sociopath wastes not an instant before attempting to divide and conquer the dancing delinquent mouthbreathing snot faucets by exploiting a loophole in the official Show Choir Rule Book to peel off seven of Will's twelve creatively dressed protégés to form "Sue's Kids." It doesn't last the hour, of course, but good God, it's fun watching her scheme.

The 'D' Stands For 'Demented'

Vitamin D - Will thinks the kids are slacking off, so he pushes them into a competition, boys against girls, and before you know it, they're dancing as fast as they can. Terri gets a job as the school nurse to keep an eye on Will, and ends up manipulating Ken into proposing to Emma. Is this a requiem for the dream of Will and Emma? And at the end of the episode, Sue is named co-director of the Glee Club. I'm so excited, I'm so excited... I'm so scared.

We'll Always Have Branson

The Rhodes Not Taken - Tony luminary and recent Emmy winner Kristin Chenoweth guests as a blowzy alcoholic Will recruits to replace Rachel in New Directions, and hijinks ensue when she introduces Kurt to the joys of vintage muscle magazines, schools Mercedes and T-T-T-Tina on the finer points of the five-fingered discount, and treats Puck and Gaylord Weiner to a threeway in the locker room showers. Lucky bitch.

I Think I Should Put a Ring on It

Preggers - Because I really love it. In one episode, Kurt dances up a storm, becomes a football player, wins the big game, and comes out to his father. All without neglecting his skin care regimen. In other news, Quinn is pregnant, Puck is the father, and Terri is out to steal the baby for herself. And Rachel quits the Glee Club so she can be a self-entitled, catered-to diva in Sandy Ryerson's production of Cabaret.

Josh Groban Loves a Blowzy Alcoholic

Acafellas - Sue Sylvester conspires (again) with Quinn and her Quinions (again) to smash Glee Club to smithereens once and for all (again), but this week's nefarious plot fails when everyone involved (including, surprisingly enough, Quinn herself) grows a spine, and possibly some cojones as well. With special appearances by Tony luminaries Victor Garber, Debra Monk, and John Lloyd Young, along with some weedy little asshole named Josh Groban and my glorious husband's rock 'n' roll nipple ring.

'PE' Doesn't Stand For 'Phys Ed'

Showmance - It's all about sex, baby. Will wants the kids to get their "Le Freak" on for a school assembly, but they'd rather "Push It." Quinn doesn't want Rachel to push anything near Finn, so she joins Glee Club to keep an eye on him. And Will and Emma play sexy janitor games, until she realizes it's foolish to chase a married man expecting a baby. (Oh, and about that baby? Don't hold your breath.)

The Glee Premiere

Special Sneak Peek: Glee - There's singing, there's nerds, there's cool kids. It's like if Freaks and Geeks and High School Musical had a funny little baby who could carry a tune.

Old Glee Thread

Glee Spoiler DISCUSSION

1-4: "Preggers" 2009.09.23

1-9: "Wheels" 2009.11.11

1-5: "The Rhodes Not Taken" 2009.09.30

1-2: "Showmance" 2009.09.09

1-8: "Mash-Up" 2009.10.21

1-3: "Acafellas" 2009.09.16

1-7: "Throwdown" 2009.10.14

1-6: "Vitamin D" 2009.10.07