Glee

Life's Candy, and the Sun's a Ball of Buttah

Sectionals - Why? Because McKinley High won Sectionals, silly. Ooops! Spoiler!

The Princess And The Peabrain

Mattress - It's almost time for Sectionals, which means the disasters are piling up as fast as, well, a pile of mattresses. Disaster 1: Emma and Ken's wedding is the same day as Sectionals. Disaster 2: Will learns about Terri's fake pregnancy, which naturally leads to a huge blow-up and his decision to storm out of their apartment. Disaster 3: The kids shoot a mattress commercial. Which doesn't sound like a disaster until it nearly gets the Glee Club disqualified from Sectionals. But Will takes the bullet for the team, so he's the only one disqualified.

I Don't Think You Ready For This Jelly

Hairography - In yet another Very Special Episode of Glee, the kids learn various Important Lessons about simplicity and perseverance and friendship and self-respect and love and sexting and skintight satin Grease pants and American Sign Language and distractions and Eve's hair extensions and The Rule Of Threes and how best to stare at the package of the dopey-yet-hot straight guy sitting next to you during assembly without anyone noticing. Meanwhile, the audience learned how much it hates every single goddamned song John Lennon ever wrote with Yoko Ono. Which side do you think got the worse end of the deal?

El Viaje Misterioso de Suzy Pepper

Ballad - Yes, yes, Rachel falls for Mr. Schuester and Finn reveals Quinn's pregnancy to his own mother and to her judgmental parents. But the real star of this episode is one Suzy Pepper, whose spicy adventure gives her the clarity to bring Rachel to her senses. She's like an angel sent from heaven.

Proud Mary Keep On Burnin'

Wheels - On tonight's Very Special Episode of Glee, the kids learn a lesson in empathy after they've been forced to live their lives out of wheelchairs for a week, some genius decides we need to see The Softer Side Of Sue, Quinn Fabray must shut up about her damned fetus before we beat her to death, and Our Sweet Little Baby Gay intentionally throws a Wicked sing-off with Rachel in order to protect his father from Lima's losers. We could easily have lived without three of these four things.

Attack Of The Singing Bush Baby

Mash-Up - Everything's topsy-turvy this week. Emma sings. Puck dates Rachel. Finn chooses football, while the other football players choose Glee. Quinn is unpopular. And Sue is nice. Thankfully, everything is back to normal by the end of the episode. Which means Sue is back to issuing scary threats. What a relief!

O Fortuna!

Throwdown -

It's Sue Sylvester's first week as co-captain of the Glee Club, and our favorite conniving sociopath wastes not an instant before attempting to divide and conquer the dancing delinquent mouthbreathing snot faucets by exploiting a loophole in the official Show Choir Rule Book to peel off seven of Will's twelve creatively dressed protégés to form "Sue's Kids." It doesn't last the hour, of course, but good God, it's fun watching her scheme.

The 'D' Stands For 'Demented'

Vitamin D - Will thinks the kids are slacking off, so he pushes them into a competition, boys against girls, and before you know it, they're dancing as fast as they can. Terri gets a job as the school nurse to keep an eye on Will, and ends up manipulating Ken into proposing to Emma. Is this a requiem for the dream of Will and Emma? And at the end of the episode, Sue is named co-director of the Glee Club. I'm so excited, I'm so excited... I'm so scared.

We'll Always Have Branson

The Rhodes Not Taken - Tony luminary and recent Emmy winner Kristin Chenoweth guests as a blowzy alcoholic Will recruits to replace Rachel in New Directions, and hijinks ensue when she introduces Kurt to the joys of vintage muscle magazines, schools Mercedes and T-T-T-Tina on the finer points of the five-fingered discount, and treats Puck and Gaylord Weiner to a threeway in the locker room showers. Lucky bitch.

I Think I Should Put a Ring on It

Preggers - Because I really love it. In one episode, Kurt dances up a storm, becomes a football player, wins the big game, and comes out to his father. All without neglecting his skin care regimen. In other news, Quinn is pregnant, Puck is the father, and Terri is out to steal the baby for herself. And Rachel quits the Glee Club so she can be a self-entitled, catered-to diva in Sandy Ryerson's production of Cabaret.

Glee Spoiler DISCUSSION

Old Glee Thread

1-13: "Sectionals" 2009.12.09

1-4: "Preggers" 2009.09.23

1-10: "Ballads" 2009.11.18

1-9: "Wheels" 2009.11.11

The Songs of Glee

1-5: "The Rhodes Not Taken" 2009.09.30

1-2: "Showmance" 2009.09.09

1-8: "Mash-Up" 2009.10.21