Glee

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Demian: D- | Grade It Now!
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A Night Of CRAP

Crap. Forgot about this scene. Rachel has acquiesced to Mercedes's every demand -- save for the Pomeranian puppy, for which Puck is at this very moment scouring several local pounds -- and yet, Mercedes remains unsatisfied, mainly because Ongina's still scheduled to sing the benefit's finale. Rachel points out that Ongina's fans promise to bring in hundreds of dollars, and that they therefore have little choice but to offer her the last song. After a brief consult with her manager, Mercedes concedes, but insists that, on the day of the benefit, "her feet never touch the ground." "Excuse me?" Rachel squeals. "Did you not see Celine's wedding?" Lauren asks. "Carried in," Mercedes notes. "Cher's comeback tour?" Lauren prompts. "Carried in," Mercedes emphasizes. "Gaga at the Grammys?" Lauren finishes. "Carried. The Hell. IN!" This is asinine. Also asinine? Commercials!

We return from the break to find Kurt escorting Blaine on a nostalgic little benefit-evening tour of McKinley's halls when suddenly, Karofsky pops up from out of nowhere to harass them, because that's what the script told him to do. Fortunately for Blaine and Kurt, Santana Lopez happens to slink around a corner in time to hear Kurt shriek, "You're real brave with your fists, but you're a coward when it comes to the truth!" and she steps forward to intervene while at the same time wondering what this "truth" is of which Kurt has been screeching. "None of your business, J.Lo!" Karofsky sneers, and as if any of us needed the reminder...

...the screen smears sideways for a replay of Dave gifting Santana with a Cherry Icee facial, and I laugh and laugh and laugh some more. The timing on that one was just perfect.

Anyway, once we've smeared back to the present, Santana has well and truly strapped her bitch on to offer Karofsky the following: "First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that Slushie up in my grille!" Yeah, he's fucked. He's also incredibly stupid, for he chooses at this juncture to snot back that he thinks he can take "a couple of queers and a girl," so Santana quite deliciously pushes herself into his face and smiles, "Two choices: You stay here and I crack one of your nuts -- right or left, that's your choice -- or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day." "Oh, and also?" Santana adds. "I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Mmm-hmmm! Tons, just all up in there!" Karofsky wisely yields the field and vanishes, grunting, down the hall, leaving Santana alone with the boys. "We could have handled that," Blaine claims, and nope! Not believing that for one hot second. "It was more fun doing it together," Santana grins at him by way of reply, and just when things threaten to get unbearably sappy, Santana receives a text alert on her cell phone. "Oh, crap!" she mutters, darting off towards...

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Glee

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