In any event, and in case you can't tell yet, I love this song, and while Chris Colfer's a bit of a weak link in this rendition as far as the vocals go, the whole giddy, delirious romance of the song's presentation -- what with the camera swooping around the boys as they first coyly and then shamelessly flirt with each other through the lyrics -- makes me want to just shut the hell up already and enjoy it. And when it's over, Blaine and Kurt are on the verge of canoodling right there atop one of the first-class dining car's comfy leather sofas until they both unfortunately let the moment drop and pull away from each other. Fools! "I think you're ready," Kurt gamely offers, doing his best to gloss over what just transpired between the two of them. Blaine smiles at him again and, rising from the couch to retrieve his boombox, he responds in kind. "Well, for the record, you are much better than that girl's gonna be." I bet you say that to all the boys, Blaine. Tramp. Sigh.
And just as Blaine exits The Dalton Academy First-Class Dining Car, who should appear to take his place but none other than Mr. Schuester himself. This should suck. Mr. Schue and Kurt greet each other warmly, and once the hellos have been dispensed with, Mr. Schue nods his unruly and possibly vermin-infested mop in Blaine's general direction to wonder, "Someone special?" "No," Kurt sighs, "just a friend, but on the upside, I'm in love with him, and he's actually gay. I call that progress!" Kurt's so much more fun when he's being confidently self-deprecating. Well, and when he's being bitchy, too. More confidently bitchy and self-deprecating Kurt, please! Anyway, where the hell were we? Oh, yes: Long story short, Mr. Schue's "really bad at Christmas shopping."
Smear sideways to Will's last Christmas with Terri. He bought her jumper cables. Wah. Wah. Waaaaaaaah!
Smear back to The Dalton Academy First-Class Dining Car, where Mr. Schue asks for Kurt's help in picking out a Secret Santa gift for Sue. Kurt, of course, has the perfect idea. Of course he does.
McKinley High, presumably the next morning. Emma dejectedly totes an exquisitely wrapped gift through the halls as Will falls in step beside her to wonder who'll be receiving it. Surprisingly enough, the present's for Sue, whom Emma also drew as her Secret Santa. "Wait a minute!" Will gulps. "That's not possible -- Sue's my Secret Santa!" "No," the just-arriving Coach Beiste interjects, "Sue's my Secret Santa."