Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 1 USERS: A-
Demian's Small Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day

And in the end, just as Sue tells Becky to load up the sleigh, they top themselves by having Brittany appear with her hair all done up in twisty, gravity-defying Cindy Lou Who loops. "Santa?" Brittany Lou Who calls out. "Why, Brittany!" Sue responds, dropping her voice an octave in order to play along. "What are you doing here?" She's bringing a gift to put under the tree for the homeless kids, of course. "It's a dollhouse," Brittany reveals, "so at least their dolls won't be homeless." That's both incredibly touching and deeply offensive at the same time. How does she do that? Brittany and Sue then parrot some actual lines from the original special, with Brittany Lou Who wondering what Santa's doing there, and Sue The Grinch lying that she needs to fix a faulty bulb on the tree back at her workshop in the North Pole, and while it's not as much fun as Sue clobbering those goddamned ornaments with a golf club, it's still awfully cute. After relieving Brittany Lou Who of her present, Sue The Grinch sends her on her way, and the sequence ends with faithful Becky tugging that wagon back to Sue's office with Sue riding triumphantly atop her pile of purloined Christmastime goodies. And the last thing we see before the next commercial break? Sue's green-skinned, flinty-eyed expression of magnificently malicious malevolence. It's perfect.

Music room, the following morning. Mr. Schue and the children arrive to find the place in utter disarray, of course, and Brittany shares with them all the details of her very special encounter with Santa Claus the previous evening. Finn, who's completely useless this evening when he's not being completely annoying, delivers yet another Buck Up, Little Campers! speech that does little but give Rachel another misguided idea for getting back into Frankenteen's good graces, and before we know it, we've joined them as they...

...hit up an artfully arranged and terribly photogenic tree lot for a last-minute inspirational evergreen replacement, and...yeah. I have absolutely nothing to say about this scene, in which Rachel tries and fails to get Finn to forgive her, and as the duet they sing is Wham!'s actively repugnant and luridly vile "Last Christmas," I think it's for the best if everyone immediately forgets this sequence ever aired. Commercials.

Music room, the following morning, where Mr. Schue arrives just as the Glee Gals are about to chop off their luscious locks. "What are you doing?" I'm sure he squeals in horror and dismay. "We're going all 'Gift Of The Magi' to raise money to buy homeless kids those school supplies," Mercedes informs him. "The guys are gonna sell their watches," Lady Lips explains, "and the girls are gonna sell off their hair." "You can't do that!" Mr. Schue insists. "Oh, no, it's cool," Santana assures him. "Most of this isn't mine, anyways." Hee. Of course, that's not what Mr. Schue meant, and he lectures them at length regarding the true meaning of "The Gift Of The Magi," which, as Mr. Schue would have it, is a story about how much everything sucks when your marriage has gone down the tubes and the woman you love ran off to Vegas to marry a hot dentist and you've found yourself in the throes of a midlife crisis that absolutely nobody cares about. And so, he determines, New Directions will go out and find some miserable dorks just like him, after which they will sing for them. I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

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