Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 1 USERS: A-
Demian's Small Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day

...the music room, where Gaylord mopes, "I'm pretty sure they just added food coloring to real slush from the parking lot." "You can eat that, you know," Lauren notes, because she is fat, and therefore rather catholic in her tastes. Mr. Schue blows past all the lunacy to state that he'll not allow New Directions to throw itself "a pity party." "I'm the first one to say that things haven't turned out exactly how I would have liked them to this year," he admits, clearly still mourning all those lost Emmys, "but Christmas is all about being grateful for the things that did!" "I thought that was Thanksgiving," Puck murmurs, and I think I've just fallen in love with him all over again. Mr. Schue ignores Puck's eminently sane observation in favor of announcing with vast amounts of self-deluded and -congratulatory smugness, "This year, Glee Club is gonna lend a hand to The McKinney-Vento Homeless Children And Youth Program right here in Lima!" And how, pray tell, are the children supposed to do that? By caroling, of course, from classroom to classroom to raise money for this mythic McKinney-Vento Homeless Children And Youth Program right there in Lima, about which I can find nothing on the Internets. The children are horrified. "We're gonna be killed," Quinn sighs. Finn attempts to rally the troops with some nonsense about Christmas miracles, but none of it really matters, because Mr. Schue's decided to sublimate his own conflicting emotions surrounding the holiday season by having the Glee Club go "full Santa" this year, and when Mr. Schue decides to sublimate his own conflicting emotions about something by having the children perform asinine tasks, well, the children perform asinine tasks. And to that end, we skip ahead to...

...McKinley's inescapable astronomy classroom, where New Directions -- accompanied by ten assorted band geeks -- performs "We Need A Little Christmas" from Mame, with Mercedes taking the lead while the others sway maniacally back and forth behind her with enormous false smiles plastered across their faces, and no sooner has Mercedes made it through the first lines of the song when the catcalls from their disgusted audience begin: "You suck!" "Who goes caroling with a band?" "I'd seriously rather be learning." "You're makin' me hate Christmas!" Things would continue in this vein throughout the number, I'm sure, were it not for the efforts of the intrepid astronomy teacher, who strips off one of her flats and hurls it at the drummer. Hee. And as their disgusted audience screams invective, the Glee Clubbers plus their musical ensemble flee.

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