Locker room, and while this scene is actually one of the most ridiculous of the evening -- and that's saying a lot -- the payoff is actually quite sweet, so instead of focusing on all of the stupidity, I'll skim through it to yank out its central point: Artie, Lady Lips, Gaylord, and Puck prevail upon Coach Beiste to dress up as Santa Claus, sneak into Brittany's house, and gently inform her that her wish for Artie is impossible to grant. Got all that? Good. Next!
Sue's office, that evening. Becky -- who's got a black piece of something or other stuck to the tip of her nose for some mysterious reason -- unwraps the "hideous gloves" the general staff decided to buy Sue as punishment for the entire Secret Santa debacle, and if the general staff thought Sue would be insulted by the puke-green monstrosities, the general staff was sadly mistaken. "They'll come in handy!" Sue enthuses. "No fingerprints!" "I don't understand why we have to dress up," Becky frowns as she dons a headpiece featuring two floppy brown dog ears on either side of an enormous antler, and they're not... I mean, they can't possibly... Oh, my holy God, they totally are. They are totally ripping off How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, with Becky in the role of loyal Grinch sidekick Reindog Max, and Sue as The Grinch himself. Or, you know, herself. Whatever. To that end, Sue's procured for herself a full Grinch Santa Claus outfit, and is currently spackling her face with about an inch of green makeup. "How'm I looking?" Sue asks. "Fantastic, Coach!" Becky steadfastly replies. "You know," Sue reminisces as she finishes with her mask, "my mastery of camouflage is the only thing that kept me from being court-martialed after that My Lai misunderstanding." And here I thought Sue was only twenty-nine years old. What other fiendish lies has she told over the last season and a half?
And with that, we enter the Grinch homage proper, with faithful Becky tugging a Sue-bearing wagon through the darkened halls as k.d. lang's special cover version of "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" plays itself out on the soundtrack. And while it's been a very, very long time since I've seen the 1966 animated special upon which this sequence has been based, I can still recognize some of these shots as direct reproductions of ones in that cartoon, and that is fabulous. Of course, it helps that they've added some truly beautiful new moments of their own, like when Sue starts whacking away at the tree's delicate ornaments with a golf club, or when Sue spray-paints the white keys on Tinkles' baby grand black, or when Sue runs the Glee Club's sheet music through an industrial-sized shredder, or when Sue goes all Joan Crawford on Will's inspirational evergreen with a massive pair of pruning shears, but it's the little references to the deathless Chuck Jones original, like Sue snipping away at the toy-laden stockings with a pair of scissors, that really put me in the holiday mood. Sniff.