Episode Report Card
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Josh Groban Loves a Blowzy Alcoholic

...the stage, where The Acafellas dive into their version of Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up," and while it's better than the original, that's not much of a compliment considering how utterly craptastic the original is to begin with. I must admit, though, that Will, Finn, and my glorious husband Puck are looking mighty sharp in their black tie, and my favorite moment of course arrives when Puck falls back to the floor to hump up at the air while pointing Sexy Fingers in Sue Sylvester's direction, partly because, well, duh, but mainly because Sue Sylvester -- clad in her most formal black Adidas track suit for the festivities -- reacts with such a tantalizing and hysterical mix of shock, disgust, mortification, and abject arousal. Hee! Oh, also: Emma's wearing yet another delightful outfit. Oh, also also: Henri's in the audience with a hook where his right hand should be. HA!

And then it's over. Backstage, Sandy bloviates to a supremely uninterested Principal Figgins whilst clutching a congratulatory opening night bouquet of pink roses and baby's breath to his chest, but he quickly goes all atwitter when Josh Groban arrives in the dressing area with his bodyguard, Flex. Josh Groban, who'd been in town to induct Run-D.M.C. into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, thought he'd drop by to...serve Sandy a restraining order. D'OH! "Stop e-mailing me!" Josh Groban cries. "Stop sending me nude photos! Stop calling me -- I don't know how you got my number, I don't know how you got my number again after I changed it, but I don't want any more of your edible gift baskets or locks of your hair, and I don't want to read any more of those sonnets you wrote for me!" "That stuff got crazy, dude!" Flex Dot-Coms by way of agreement. Sandy, naturally, is crushed, but Josh Groban does take a moment to lighten the mood of the remaining Acafellas by giving them two thumbs up while assuring them their show was "explosive." And with that, Josh Groban exits into the final commercial break.

Out in the parking lot, Terri rather sweetly (and, I should probably add, sincerely) apologizes for not being as supportive of Will as she could have been, and the two share A Moment until Will's Father interrupts, looking for his own wife, who happens to be...

...backstage, swaying boozily between two director's chairs while Josh Groban smooves, "You might be thinking, why would a pop star like me come over here and talk to you? Well, let me tell you something: Throngs of screaming teenagers don't do it for Josh Groban. No, Josh Groban loves a blowzy alcoholic." HA! Will's Mother belches most fetchingly indeed before excusing herself with, "You'll have to forgive me -- I'm a little bit drunk, and I'm afraid I'm not making good choices right now." And that was one of the funniest little scenes on the show thus far.

Back outside, Terri also excuses herself, leaving Will and his father alone for yet another goddamned man-to-man heart-to-heart, and the long and the short of it is this: Will's somehow inspired his father to return to law school. Yeah, I don't get it either. I also don't get why I should care. Next!

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