Mike Chang is walking down the corridor, talking to his father on his cell phone, explaining that he's on the way to meet his chemistry tutor at the Lima Bean. As soon as he hangs up, he walks past McKinley High's fully outfitted dance studio (last seen late in the first season), and he can't help but duck in. And then he performs some scorching dance moves while having imaginary conversations with his father and Tina. It's all about how dancing isn't really a sensible plan, but is what he loves doing. (And in case you're wondering, Mike Chang just turned me completely gay again. Thanks, Gaylord Wiener!)
And then we're in the auditorium, where Mike is scheduled to audition. Except that he's not there! Until suddenly he is. He performs "Cool," and his singing practice with Tina has really paid off. I mean, it's not a lyrical tour de force, but he handles it more than admirably. His dancing is, of course, amazing. And he even gets a ton of football players to show up to dance backup. Commercials.
Teachers' lounge. The Panther is carbo loading to keep her energy up for all of the activities she's running. She's sitting with Shelby Corcoran, commiserating with her over the fact that no girls other than Sugar Motta have joined her alternative show choir. Shelby leaves when Will comes in, and he sits with Beiste. The coach tells him how proud he should be of the work Emma is doing on the musical, and he shares his worry that Emma is hiding him from her parents because she's ashamed of him. Coach Beiste tells him that he's a total catch, and that he should introduce himself to Emma's parents.
Improbable outdoor staircase. Kurt, dressed like the gayest Civil War soldier ever, is lying in wait for Blaine. He's there to remind Blaine that the cast list is going up on Friday, and to tell Blaine that he knows that Blaine is really the person who should be cast as Tony. And he has flowers for Blaine to prove that he's really okay with it. You can tell they really want to kiss each other, but they both hold back because there are so many other people around.
Booty Camp. For some reason, Brit-Brit has decided to join Booty Camp as part of her campaign strategy. If you were a unicorn, that would make sense to you. Will tells the kids to all stand and perform the dance move they were supposed to practice -- when they get it right, they'll get tapped out so they can stop. It's not long before everyone is tapped out except for Finn and Mercedes. After a little forceful encouragement from Will and Puck, Finn finally gets it. But Mercedes is barely even trying. She claims that her ankle hurts and that she doesn't feel good, but it's really just a bad attitude. Mercedes accuses Will of treating Rachel as his favorite: "You give that skinny, Garanimal-wearing ass-kisser everything!" Mercedes starts to walk out, pushing over a music stand on the way. Will tells her that if she leaves, she's out of the club. And then the lights go down and we're in Mercedes' fantasy world, for a performance of "It's All Over," from Dreamgirls. Mercedes is in a lavender dress as Effie White, while the other girls are all in spangly pink dresses with their Supremes hair piled on top of their heads. And the men are all in suits and vests. The lyrics have been adjusted to the situation, and all of the non-Effie lines in the song have been split among everyone else there. And it's really an amazing performance. And then the lights come back up on reality, and Mercedes is alone on the stage. Did everyone else just walk away while she stood there in a musical theater trance? Maybe someone should have stuck around, just to be certain she wasn't having a stroke or something. Commercials.