We open on glee club dance practice (or maybe Booty Camp, although I don't recall Tina being condemned to that). Will sees Mercedes walking in and points out that she's very late. She blames her tardiness on oversleeping, and Quinn reminds her that it's 4:30 in the afternoon. Mercedes: "My alarm clock went off 30 minutes late this morning. Kind of shifted my whole schedule." I'm the king of excuses for being late, and that is one crappy excuse. Mercedes tries to change the subject by asking what Santana's doing there, since she was summarily ejected from the club two episodes ago. She's there because the showrunners realized how stupid it was to pull one of their strongest singers from the club. Or, in Santana's words, because she's re-sworn her allegiance to the glee club behind Sue's back. More importantly, she's there to bring some much-needed bitchiness. As Mike Chang runs Mercedes through a quick warm-up, Mercedes begs off from dancing, claiming to feel sick. Santana points out that she's probably sick from eating right before practice, leading to a little hissy fit from Mercedes about how much Will is overworking them, leaving her no other time to eat lunch. Will calls her out on her attitude, telling all of them, "It's not about doing your best anymore. It's about doing better." Title card.
Schuester/Pillsbury kitchen. Will is in the kitchen, going through Emma's secret stash of bridal magazines when Emma enters the room. Emma: "Do you want me to iron some bacon for you?" Will points out the large box of bridal mags, and Emma thinks fast and tries to blame Terri for hiding them. Except that the box also contains an autographed photo of Vera Wang, made out to Emma. I think Will's stupidity might be rubbing off on her. Will tells her that he's not freaked out by her wedding magazine addiction, since they're clearly on the road to the altar, "and marriage is just one of several milestones I look forward to sharing with you." Does that mean they still haven't had sex? In any case, Will doesn't want to have secrets from Emma, so he hands over his stash. It's a charming little container... of porn. He explains that it kept him off Craigslist while he was a bachelor. But the real point of this conversation is not to force us all to think of Will spanking it to the pictures in an issue of Juggs. It's for Will to ask Emma why she hasn't introduced him to her parents. Emma: "They're dead." Will: "You spoke to them on the phone last night." Emma: "I spoke to their ghosts last night. I have ghost parents." She gives up the lie and explains that she just doesn't want to rush things. And then she rushes out of the room before he can get out the polygraph.