Hall. Citing "today's culture" of "bad-boy athletes and celebrity sex tapes," Rachel enlists Artie's aid in securing the services of his friends at The AV Club, as she intends to create a music video that will prove to the world she's "musically promiscuous." Only she's a lot more maniacally psychotic about the whole thing than I am at the moment. Commercials.

Music Room. Tonight's Mystery Theme tick-tick-ticks away on the soundtrack as Kurt -- swathed in an especially fuzzy cowl-neck button-down cardigan -- calls to order the meeting he's arranged with Artie, Mercedes, and Single-T Tina to discuss their "free-falling reps," which have reached "terminal velocity" ever since their pointed exclusion from this evening's Plot Device. "What does a C-Lister do when their tiny star is about to fall off Perez Hilton's radar screen?" Kurt asks the group. "They cause a scandal so extreme, they can no longer be ignored," he continues, answering his own question. Artie apologetically interrupts Kurt's scheming at this juncture to wonder why Brittany's slumped over in a chair on the risers. "I've been here since first period?" Brit-Brit listlessly replies, explaining, "I had a cold? And I took all my antibiotics at the same time? And now I can't remember how to leave?" Hee. However, it's a good thing she stayed, because she's a bit miffed regarding her relatively low placement on the Glist. After all, she's made out with everyone in the school -- "girls, boys, Mr. Kinney the janitor" -- so why is she only fourth? Kurt allows her to join in on their ultimately ridiculous plot to gain notoriety by -- get this -- behaving in a disruptive manner on the newly constructed school library set. This should be dumb.