Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
Mullet With Headlights?

Anyway, I did type "fantasy sequence" on purpose, because I really do believe these final three minutes are all happening in Rachel's miserable little head, what with the three guys she supposedly screwed over as part of her "Run Joey Run" debacle trading off on the male vocals in the music room before everything switches over to Ballet Club (let me repeat that, by the way: Ballet Club. Hee!) for a scorching pas de deux between Rachel and Jesse St. James, the latter of whom unfortunately performs the entirety of the routine clad in depressingly concealing yoga pants. Damn you, Murphy! As usual, they've hacked the crap out of the song to smash it into the time period's constraints -- though, you know, given how often fucking Idol runs over, you'd think FOX could spare Glee a few of those extra minutes every once in a while -- and it's a shame, because everyone's in fine vocal form on it (even Frankenteen, but especially Groff and Michele), and it would have been nice to see them go balls-out performing the entire epic masterpiece. Oh, well. Maybe it'll be an extra on the DVD.

In any event, as the song draws to a close, the Glee kids slowly rise from their seats to abandon miserable little Rachel, who's still singing her bleeding and battered heart out in the center of the music room. And the last to go is Jesse St. James, who walks away from her with the final "Turn around, bright eyes!" even though he callously does not turn around himself. Meanwhile, The McKinley Jazz Ensemble's all, "The fuck just happened?" Fin. Wink!

Next week, Puck loses his mojo along with his mohawk, Rachel loses her voice, and Kurt loses his goddamned fucking mind. Thank God I don't have to recap that shit. See you on the 18th!

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