Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Mullet With Headlights?

Smear to Rachel's self-esteem taking a deadly blow when she discovers the Glist has effectively desexualized her by granting her a grand total of minus 5 points. HA!

"You know," Sue muses back in Maharishi Figgins's office, "a week ago, had I found a list that so degraded the Glee Club, I would have been embarrassed I was beaten to the punch. But now that I know the white-hot shame of public rebuke?" She pauses for the briefest of moments, then sighs dramatically, "That pain is indescribable!" Oh, Sue. Go meet Molly Shannon first, and then you can talk to us about pain. Meanwhile, Maharishi Figgins hilariously reveals he's especially exercised about The Plot Device because of an incident last year at West Dayton High, in which a photo of the school superintendent riding a pony while attired in lady's lingerie circulated throughout the district, resulting in the expulsion of the entire student body. Loath to see a repeat of that particular travesty at McKinley, Figgins orders Will to ferret out and suspend the person responsible for The Plot Device by the end of the episode, or the entire Glee Club will get the boot. "Are you serious?" Will squeals. "Deadly serious!" the maharishi bays. "I cannot have these shenanigans at this school!" "He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!" Sue repeats for emphasis, jabbing her now-empty folder at the tiny rear end on Will's chin. Suddenly beleaguered, Will slides his eyes from Sue to Figgins and back again. Title card.

Music Room. The supposedly suspenseful Mystery Theme that's replaced the typical incidental underscoring for this episode tick-tick-ticks away on the soundtrack as Mr. Schue waves The Plot Device around while demanding, "Who did it?" Santana Lopez studiously files her nails. Hmmm. Nah, she's still too minor a character to be responsible for a Plot Device of this magnitude. Maybe next season. And after that particular bit of ultimately pointless misdirection, Mr. Schue warns, "This is serious -- Principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club!" Santana Lopez sets her emery board aside and eye-rolls, "Why are we playing this game? We all know it was Puck." "I didn't do squat!" Puck protests. "Then why is your girlfriend first on the Glist?" Single-T Tina sneers. "And why am I last," Rachel adds, "aside from the fact that I refused to put out for you?" "Enough!" Mr. Schue shouts before he completely loses control of the situation. "No one is accusing anyone of anything!" he insists. Pause. "Puck, seriously: Did you do it?" Hee. "I said no!" Puck asserts. "I'm a delinquent, sure," he concedes. "I like setting stuff on fire and beating up people I don't know -- I own that -- but I'm not a liar!" Mr. Schue all but throws his hands in the air at that and awkwardly segues into this week's central theme like so: "Here's the important point: Between this and posting Coach Sylvester's personal video on YouTube, you guys are getting a pretty bad reputation." Artie pipes up to wonder what would be so awful about that. "Maybe if we seem more dangerous," he hopes, "people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet." Aw. Poor Artie. Though that's a hell of a lot better than getting locked in a soon-to-be-flipped Port-A-Potty, so maybe he should knock it off with the bellyaching already.

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Glee

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