...A Very Dramatic Musical Number. In this instance, it's Dreamboat Blaine belting out Christina Aguilera's "Fighter," and I have zero recollection of this song from ten years ago. None whatsoever. I think it might be because everyone was still playing "Lady Marmalade" and "Dirrrty" and "Beautiful" back then -- if they weren't trying their damn best to ignore her melodramatic ass, that is -- but yeah: I do not recognize this song at all. Which ends up working in this sequence's favor as far as I'm concerned, because I'm walking into it free of the preconceptions many on the forum boards seemed to have had when this episode originally aired. Which means I can focus instead on the gloriously delicate interplay of light and shadow on Darren Criss's muscular back when Dreamboat Blaine takes an entirely gratuitous shower in the middle of the song. Hooray!

Dreamboat Blaine somehow ends up onstage in The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion at the end of it all -- completely clothed, alas, with those asinine floods of his on full display -- and he closes the song by screaming its final lyrics at a massive bank of screens running endless loops of Douchebag Boner making male-model faces, for whatever ridiculous reason and the instant it's over, we cut to...

...the hall, where clumsy oaf Frankenteen nearly lumbers into New Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name I Can't Remember. I'd berate Frankenteen for that, I'm sure, were it not for the fact that New Guy With Gross Hair has chosen to go barefoot, which makes me want Finn to kill him. Between the gross hair and the bare feet and the holier-than-thou attitude no jury would ever convict you, Finn! Kill him! KILL HIM NOW! Unfortunately, Finn does not listen to me and instead turns to receive an incredibly stupid lecture from Quinn on the dangers of Texting While Walking, though I suppose it could be much, much worse, because they've got a poster on the wall in the background of this scene decrying the pernicious effects of i-Dosing, so I suppose it's a mercy Quinn has chosen to focus on Frankenteen's Distracted Walking instead. And once all of that has passed, Artie rolls up so he and Quinn might together politely decline Frankenteen's invitation to Six Flags Great America that Friday. "We have a super-special Senior Ditch Day planned," Quinn smugs and I believe I'll be the judge of that, missy. Frankenteen looks confused for a moment, then lurches off into this evening's next commercial break.