Snap open on the hallowed halls of dear McKinley High. "So," Idiot Rachel begins, "do you think if Quinn hadn't gotten into her accident, we still would have gone through with the wedding?" And here we go: Number one, this is a conversation Idiot Rachel and Frankenteen would have had with each other seven weeks ago, immediately following the asinine and insulting accident to which she refers, so whatever; number two, I find it extremely difficult to believe they heard about Quinn's accident in time to halt their insanely stupid wedding at the unbelievably vast Allen County Courthouse, so whatever; number three, I have never, ever cared about the incredibly tedious so-called romantic relationships on this show, so whatever; and number four: SHUT UP, RACHEL. Number Four really has nothing to do with anything else, I admit, but I figured it'd be best to get the first one out of the way now.
Anyway -- and surprisingly enough -- Idiot Rachel does here shut her yappy trap for a beat, but it's only to allow Frankenteen a moment to exposit that this year's Nationals will be held in Chicago and you'll forgive me for veering off on a tangent, I'm sure, but really? Are they seriously taking this year's finale on the road the way they did last year's? Or will Nationals actually be held in the "Chicago" of the Paramount Studios backlot? And which Chicago-specific songs will they maul and mutilate over the course of that particular episode? Though given the way the musical selections on this show have been going lately, they'll probably just commission some piece of shit from Justin Bieber and perform that, right? Sigh. So many questions. And none of them have anything at all to do with this evening's ultimately pointless presentation, unfortunately, so where the hell was I?