Cut to Sue and Becky doing their best Eve Arden and Dody Goodman impression, complete with Becky on the xylophone. (I spent way too long trying to find a picture of that scene from Grease, with no luck. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the movie.) Sue's PA announcement is epic: "Students. Colleagues. Indeed, all who understand the Queen's English. We all still quake in terror at what we witnessed yesterday at the assembly, by a glee club spiraling out of control. My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit, and there is simply but one person to blame -- the alcoholic teen-vomit fetishist, Will Schuester, the director of that club. Two days ago, I received a drunk dial in the middle of the night from a horny Will Schuester. Open your ears, McKinley High, and behold the awful price of alcoholism." And then Sue plays the message Will left. It's as bad as you might think, and includes a reference to the fact that riding the bull made Will think of the person he was calling. It's also pretty evident to the world that he was calling Emma, since he refers to the plastic gloves she sometimes wears when eating. Sue finishes the announcement by telling Will, "You've just been publicly humiliated. And on the road to recovery, that's the very first step." Hmmm, maybe Sue wrote her own Big Book. Commercials.
Maharishi's maison of misdirection. He's called Will and the glee club in, and they're certain they're about to be fired or suspended, as the case may be. But Figgins actually wants to congratulate them -- their graphic display of the ugly side of alcohol has resulted in an end to public drunkenness at the school. Luckily, Figgins thinks their own display of public drunkenness was all an act, although he would like Will to speak to his pastor about his obvious problems with love and sex addiction.