We return to the game of communicable diseases, already in progress. Brit-Brit's bottle lands on Sam, so they prepare to kiss. But not before Santana reminds them, "I owns that guppy mouth. Those trouty Aerosmith lips belong to me." Santana also breaks up the kiss with a reminder that "it's not a Big Red commercial." Rachel spins the bottle, and it points to Blaine. Rachel: "Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna rock your world." And she kind of does, as the kiss goes on for a lot longer than you would expect. Kurt, frantically: "Okay, I think we've had enough of that." Oh, and did I mention that Josie Cotton's "Johnny Are You Queer" is playing in the background? Because it is, and it's brilliant. As the kiss breaks up, Rachel tells Blaine, "Your face tastes awesome." And then she announces that Blaine will be her new duet partner, leading to the two of them doing a karaoke cover of The Human League's "Don't You Want Me." Drunk Blaine is pretty fun, although the way he practically fellates the microphone might give Rachel a clue that she shouldn't be wasting her time on him. However, I have to point out that if Rachel and Blaine had kids, those kids would have the thickest, fullest hair in human history.
Morning in Lima. Burt, carrying a cookbook in his hands, is calling out for Kurt. Kurt calls out that he'll be right down, but Burt doesn't wait and goes up the stairs to Kurt's room to get some education about this mysterious homosexual ritual known as "brunch." And yes, the fact that he went up to Kurt's bedroom means that the Hummel-Hudson clan must have moved into their new house. Burt enters Kurt's room and is put out when he sees Kurt still lazing around in bed. Except Kurt's already up and moisturizing, and it's really Blaine who's lazing around in Kurt's bed.
School hallway. Tina and Mercedes are both wearing sunglasses and both looking like crap. They note that even though the party was Saturday and it's now Monday, they still have massive hangovers. So massive, in fact, that Tina decides not to close her locker rather than subject herself to the gunshot-like noise it would make if she closed it properly. They join up with Santana, who complains about dry heaving all weekend. And then Gaylord Weiner (a.k.a. Mike Chang) complains about the non-stop barfing. This group of four then meets up with five other Gleeks (Brit-Brit, Artie, Puck, Quinn, and Sam). Artie offers them all a Bloody Mary, as "the hair of the dog that done bit yo' ass." And then they launch into Jamie Foxx's "Blame It." The song moves from the hallway to the auditorium stage, where they perform a fully-staged version for Will. He applauds at the end, and praises their ability to really get into character: "I truly thought some of you guys were drunk." Artie, drunkenly: "Well, we take our craft serious." But Will's concerned that this song is actually about how awesome booze is, rather than being about the dangers of teenage drinking. The kids think that such a song might not exist. In making her point, Rachel drunkenly compliments Will's vest. And then she continues to act the needy girl drunk by climbing up on Gaylord Weiner, leading Single-T Tina to snatch her man back from Rachel's bony grasp. Will points out that alcohol poisoning kills about 400 people a year, which sets Santana off on a crying jag. And then Quinn and Puck point out the hypocrisy of telling kids that alcohol is bad when they see adults drinking and having fun, and when beer and other booze is constantly advertised on television. Will doesn't care to get into a debate. He tells them that tomorrow, the club will "spend the entire day thinking of songs to sing at this assembly." The entire day? Has the show just given up on the pretense that there are any classes being taught at this school?













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