So Kurt has skipped school? To continue Burt's education in the art of brunch? And Burt has also skipped work? This episode is kind of like The Doctor's wife on Doctor Who -- nothing is happening in the right order, but I'm not sure if it's my fault or the show's. (Who am I kidding? I know it's the show's fault.) Burt is sampling some strawberries while Kurt lectures him on the importance of egg whites to making a good soufflé. And then they take a soufflé out of the oven that has totally fallen. Kurt's kind of pissy about it, and then he apologizes to Burt and tells him that he's preoccupied with Blaine, since he's acting interested in Rachel. Burt doesn't get it, since he thought Blaine was gay. All of this is just a way to lead up to Burt telling Kurt that it's not okay for him to have boys (gay ones, at least) sleep in his room without getting some kind of permission, just like it wouldn't be okay for Finn to have a girl sleep in his room. It's all just a rehash of Kurt acting put-upon and Burt having to fend off accusations of homophobia while trying to make a valid point. It's a little less one-sided this time, because you can tell that Burt actually is uncomfortable thinking about actual gay sex as opposed to his actual gay son. Commercials.
Gym. It's time for the assembly. Figgins gives another of his deadpan introductions. "Unfortunately, Kitty Dukakis could not be here because of disinterest, but Lima police chief Lawrence Crowley is here to show you a grisly slide show of auto accidents." Backstage, Brit-Brit is worried about performing. "You guys, I'm really nervous. Ke$ha's been a cultural icon for weeks, and I really want to do her justice." So Rachel gives them something to take the edge off. It's a combination of everything that was left in her fathers' liquor cabinet, plus some cough syrup and crushed up Oreos. So they all drink. In front of the curtain, the slide show has just finished. Figgins: "Now performing the hit single, 'Tik and also Tok,' by rapper Key-dollar-sign-ha, the New Directions." The kids perform the song, with Brit-Brit on lead. The performance is good, and Figgins totally gets into it, complete with vogueing. And then Brit spews purple vomit in Rachel's face. Rachel runs off, and Santana spews all over the floor. Brit: "Everybody drink responsibly."