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The Lost Gleekend
target="_new">Blame It." The song moves from the hallway to the auditorium stage, where they perform a fully-staged version for Will. He applauds at the end, and praises their ability to really get into character: "I truly thought some of you guys were drunk." Artie, drunkenly: "Well, we take our craft serious." But Will's concerned that this song is actually about how awesome booze is, rather than being about the dangers of teenage drinking. The kids think that such a song might not exist. In making her point, Rachel drunkenly compliments Will's vest. And then she continues to act the needy girl drunk by climbing up on Gaylord Weiner, leading Single-T Tina to snatch her man back from Rachel's bony grasp. Will points out that alcohol poisoning kills about 400 people a year, which sets Santana off on a crying jag. And then Quinn and Puck point out the hypocrisy of telling kids that alcohol is bad when they see adults drinking and having fun, and when beer and other booze is constantly advertised on television. Will doesn't care to get into a debate. He tells them that tomorrow, the club will "spend the entire day thinking of songs to sing at this assembly." The entire day? Has the show just given up on the pretense that there are any classes being taught at this school?

Teachers' lounge. Will asks Coach Beiste if he's so out of touch with today's youth. After all, he drank a lot more than they do when he was a kid, although to be fair, most of that drinking was inspired by Terri. Will: "Who am I to tell them not to drink when I blacked out a couple of times when I was their age, and I ended up okay." Knowing that Will was a teenage drunk really helps me understand his particular combination of stupidity and gormlessness. Beiste, who's eating an entire rotisserie chicken for lunch, thinks Will is taking the whole "teen drinking" thing way too seriously, and accurately guesses that there are other things on his mind. After hearing about some of them (his divorce, Sue coaching the rival team, and Emma's plan to buy a house with her husband), Beiste asks him what he does to blow off steam. He mentions exercise, but she's thinking of something fun. Like a trip to Rosalita's Roadhouse, a honky-tonk bar somewhere near Lima. Commercials.

Rachel, in pajamas, is sitting in her bedroom, drinking a glass of Lady Sparkle pink wine and listening to Carole King on the record player. She picks up the phone and dials Blaine. Who is with Kurt in the coffee shop we've seen them visit. Except that where Blaine and Kurt are, it's daytime (as evidenced by the coffee drinking, school uniforms, and bright light outside the windows), whereas it's pretty clearly night where Rachel is. Unless she's starting her day with a glass of wine. Which I guess could be the case. Anyway, Rachel is calling Blaine to flirt with him and ask him on a date. A date that he agrees to go on, much to Kurt's chagrin. Kurt doesn't want Blaine to lead Rachel on, but Blaine doesn't plan to. Instead, he's just exploring the idea that he might be bi, since he enjoyed that kiss with Rachel and has never actually kissed a dude. Kurt gets pissed and kind of bi-phobic (although it's absolutely true that some gay guys do identify as bi early in their coming out process because it feels easier). He claims it's because he looks up to Blaine, but you know it's because he really wants to get into Blaine's pants. Blaine leaves, and you can tell he's angry because he leaves his precious, precious caffeine behind.

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