Glee
Glee

Episode Report Card
LTG: A | 1834 USERS: B+
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Kurt Comes Home!

Doctor's office waiting room. Rachel and Quinn are there. Quinn has apparently come along to be Rachel's nose model. Rachel asks Quinn what it's like to be so pretty. Quinn tells her that since everyone lets a hot 17-year old get away with anything, she's always assumed everyone in the world is nice and friendly. Dr. Haxalot enters -- he thinks Rachel is there to schedule the surgery, but first she wants to see if there's any way to get an idea what she would look like with Quinn's nose. Dr. Haxalot is happy to make a composite picture. As a nurse takes pictures, Quinn starts singing a mash-up of "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story and TLC's "Unpretty." (Although it actually starts out as just "Unpretty," with some elements from "I Feel Pretty" added later in the song.) It quickly turns into a duet with Rachel, which in turn becomes a performance of the song in front of the rest of the Glee Club, as well as singing as the two of them go about their days, cutting noses out of magazines and putting on makeup. As one does. It's a really nice performance, and the show's best mash-up in a very long time.

Hallway. Three husky young women, wearing identical sweaters and skirts, with identical bows in their hair, are looking at a Zizes campaign poster. Are these women part of some cult? They're excited to finally see someone who looks like them running for prom queen, and are ready to give her their votes. Quinn sees this, and then stalks up to Lauren, who is hanging another poster. Quinn thinks that enough people might vote for Lauren as a joke that she could win the election. Since winning is Lauren's goal, she doesn't really mind that. Quinn is getting increasingly upset and insulting, which causes Lauren to respond in kind. Lauren notes that while Quinn may have been born pretty, she's an ugly person on the inside. Quinn storms off, but not before telling Lauren that she's now made the entire election personal.

Lima Bean. Karofsky and Santana (who has, alas, lost the fur hat and vest) are having coffee. Karofsky thinks it's about time Santana asked him out, since he's such a stud. She tells him to knock it off with the act, since she knows the truth about him. He denies it, and she points out that she saw him check out Sam's ass. Karofsky: "I didn't. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing." Santana: "Like that's any less gay." She also tells him that she's guessed the truth about what happened between him and Kurt. Karofsky is pissed, and ready to go beat up Kurt and Blaine, when Santana calms him down with a story. It's about how he's going to be a total closet case who will get married and have kids and later get caught "tapping your foot in the men's room with some page." But Santana has no problem with that, since it allows her to blackmail him into being her beard (and vice versa). Santana also tells him what a beard is: "It's when a gay man and woman date each other, to hide the fact that they're gay. Like the Roosevelts." She threatens to out him to the entire school if he refuses to go along with her plan. "The only straight I am is straight-up bitch." Commercials.

Glee

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