...Bushwick, where St. Gay Of Lima advises Much-Abused Rachel to keep fighting like so: "If she wants sexy, give her sexy!" Rachel smiles as we finally slide into this evening's first commercial break.
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. New Rachel -- now sporting an absolutely dire headband -- titters her way past New Puck, who's seen obviously putting the moves on Single-T Tina over at the latter's locker. Not-So-Unique saunters on over, sassing something about the Glee gals needing to stick together, or whatever, and proceeds to inquire, "So, boys -- who have you got your eye on?" New Rachel and Her Dire Headband shyly admit that New Puck seems quite tasty, indeed, in a total jailbait sort of way, but Not-So-Unique shuts that one down with a quickness, as New Puck's already littered the hallowed halls of dear McKinley High with the broken hearts of young ladies he's used and abused, and he's only been a student there for two weeks. Boring New Rachel and Her Dire Headband moon something awful about New Puck being an "artist," or some such crap, so Not-So-Unique propels herself into a high-energy cover of "Womanizer" that I quite shamefully find myself enjoying. Like, a lot. Oh, shut up -- it's peppy and fun and chews up at least two full minutes of screentime, during which I get to completely ignore Boring New Rachel and Her Dire Headband. What's not to love?
At some point, a freshly spurned Single-T Tina joins Not-So-Unique on the vocals, and they proceed to angrily stalk New Puck through the school, sneering with contempt as he casually toys with and discards the affections of various extras, the latter of whom fall in line one by one behind Not-So-Unique until there's a veritable army of pissed-off women stomping after the utterly oblivious New Puck. God help me, but it's pretty cute. Anyway, it all ends up in the gymnasium -- New Puck apparently has a thing for ogling the ladies during their gym class, don't you know -- and at Not-So-Unique's prompting, the various rebuffed handmaids of McKinley High lasso New Puck with a magically-appearing noose, the better to drag his horny ass towards a delightfully gruesome Particicution. Unfortunately, the song cuts off just before the gals start rending the flesh from his bones with their bare hands, so I've got to listen to Boring New Rachel and Her Dire Headband make schmoopy noises in New Puck's general direction until he asks her out on a date. Yawn.