Locker room, where Rachel and Finn indulge in even more of that bullshit angst-ridden teenaged high-school romance crap I totally do not care about. Rachel's back in her dark, specific Japanese businessman fetishwear, and Finn's back in his sunny, generalized gay male fetishwear, and Rachel crazies something about their relationship only working if they're both losers, and OHMIGOD I DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT CARE. Finn gives her a pep-talk, Rachel still doesn't trust him, and NEXT!

The Fall Homecoming Assembly You Thought Would Never Arrive. Will, looking like a desperate Fosse reject in that little black bowler of his, adjusts a microphone until he spots Emma across the gym. Cocking his sad little black bowler at a jaunty angle, he sneaks up behind her and coyly offers to meet her backstage after the performance, if you know what he means, and I think you do. Emma, momentarily thrown, blurts out that he looks "like a cast member of Kids Incorporated," which is a reference I thankgodfully do not get at all, and Will idiots something about His Personal Theme Of The Week, and then the lights start blinking on and off to signal the start of The Fall Homecoming Assembly You Thought Would Never Arrive, because every high school in America totally blinks the lights when an assembly's about to start, and just when I'm about to start ranting again about stupid things I totally do not care about, Becky darts across the basketball court's floor to report to Sue. "The Glee Club's doing Britney Spears for assembly -- I just found out!" Becky breathlessly exclaims. Sue visibly steels herself and announces, "Becky, you are on Red Alert -- if you see any awkward teenage frottage, you perform that citizen's arrest we practiced!" Becky's all, "Got it, Coach!" with the conspiratorial winking and finger-guns and such, and then it's off to...

...the front of the gym, where The Maharishi introduces tonight's final Britney cover with the following: "Quiet please, children -- quiet, now. First, students who ate the ravioli today, and are not up to date with their tetanus shots, should see the nurse immediately. Welcome to our Homecoming Pep Assembly. Because of last week's grisly train derailment, the Dulcimer Club is on hiatus until further notice, but do we ever have a treat for you: Fresh off their last-place finish at the regionals, please give it up for the New Directions." This episode's plot might be a mess, but Ryan Murphy's bringing it with the laugh lines.